New Year Resolution Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected New Year Resolution Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



New Year Resolution Jokes


My New Yearโ€™s resolution was to spend less time on Pinterest.

But well, itโ€™s not working out as I pinned-ted.

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Iโ€™m proud to announce I have stuck to my New Yearโ€™s resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.

My feet have never looked better.

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I asked a programmer what his New Yearโ€™s resolution will be.

He answered, โ€œ640 x 480.โ€

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Ever since 2017, my New Yearโ€™s resolution has been to work on my novel.

Many years going and Iโ€™ve almost finished reading it!

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My New Yearโ€™s resolution was to eat 1200 calories a day. Iโ€™ve been doing so great!

Iโ€™ve surpassed my goal every day so far!

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This year, my New Yearโ€™s resolution is to finally go to the gym.

And cancel that membership Iโ€™ve been wasting money on every month since last year.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

โ€œHowโ€™s the New Yearโ€™s resolution coming?โ€ the bartender asks.

โ€œGreat, I went to the gym today and I already lost 10 pounds,โ€ the guy replies. โ€œSeriously, I have no idea where I misplaced those weights.โ€

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A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions.

So itโ€™s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd.

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