Enjoy our team's carefully selected Name Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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The crusty navy chief noticed a new face and barked at him, โGet over here! Whatโs your name, sailor?โ
โJohn,โ the new seaman replied.
โLook, I donโt know what kind ofย foolishness theyโre teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I donโt call anyone by his first name!โ the chief scowled.
โIt breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever.
And you are to refer to me as โChiefโ. Do I make myself clear?!โ
โAye, Aye, Chief!โ
โNow that weโve got that straight, whatโs your last name?โ
The seaman sighed, โDarling, My name is John Darling, Chief.โ
โOkay, John, hereโs what I want you to do โฆโ
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A Sunni and a Shia Muslim have a child together.
They name her Sushi.
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To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian?
Gatherer.
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Did you hear about Bruce Leeโs vegetarian brother? His name was Brocco Lee.
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If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
The horseโs name is Friday!
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Whatโs a mountain goatโs favorite name?
Cliff.
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When I see loversโ names carved in a tree, I donโt think itโs sweet.
I just think itโs surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
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Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
โHoly cow, Mister,โ one of them said after catching his breath, โYou scared us half to death โ we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?โ
โThose fools!โ the old man grumbled. โThey misspelled my name!โ
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Whatโs the name of the Democratic skeleton from Brooklyn, New York whoโs running for president?
Bony Sanders.
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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun?
Frank.
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Hot dogs really should be renamed to hot wolves... They always come in packs.
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Son: โDad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?โ
Dad: โBecause your mother loves Roses.โ
Son: โOh... OK. Thanks, Dad!โ
Dad: โNo problem, Costco Hot Dog.โ
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What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business?
Amazon Web Services.
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Why does Spider-Man get so frustrated with the World Wide Web?
Because Google thinks his name is Spiderman, not Spider-Man!
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What is the name of Dr. Strangeโs cousin who canโt do magic?
Doctor Normal.
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What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?
The moon.
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I went to a church menโs campout a few years back. Everyone was sitting around the fire cooking breakfast.
Joe, an old-time rancher, starts cooking some homemade sausage.
A few minutes go by, then someone asks, โHey Joe, what kind of sausage is that? It smells good.โ
โTo which Joe replies, โChocolate sausage.โ
This gets everyoneโs attention.
When the sausage finished cooking, Joe offers a piece to anyone who wanted to try it.
A few of the guys take a cut and eat it, then get confused looks on their faces.
The same guy asks Joe again, โThis doesnโt taste any different than normal sausage. Chocolate?..โ
Still waking up, Joe clears his throat and says, โThe horse was named Chocolate.โ
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Guess what the name of my new computer processor is?
Chip.
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If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she wouldโve named her biggest dragon?
Moron.
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Iโve heard Dunkinโ Donuts is going to be the official sponsor of No Nut November.
Their name will be Dunkinโ Nonuts for a month.
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Zoom meetings is a stupid name, and itโs branded.
We should call it a bit more casual like โcoworker video chatโ or something shorter, like โco-vidโ.
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What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?
Rename Uranus to Ouranus.
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Did you know that all the planets in the solar system are named after a god?
Except earth, which is named after all that stuff on the ground.
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I think Saturnโs name is the best in our solar system.
It has a nice ring to it.
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What is another fancy name for a sun fart?
A solar flare.
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My racehorseโs name is Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.
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What do you call people who were born on Friday the 13th?
By their names.
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A young Jewish mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten.
โBehave, my bubaleh,โ she says.
โTake good care of yourself and think about your mother, tataleh!โ
โAnd come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh.โ
โYour mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!โ
At the end of the school day, the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him.
โSo what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?โ
The boy answers, โI learned my name is David.โ
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A woman walks into the Social Workerโs office, trailed by 15 kids.
โWOW!โ the social worker exclaims, โAre they ALL yours?โ
โYeah, theyโre all mine,โ the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, โSit down Terry.โ All the children rush to find seats.
โWell,โ says the social worker, โthen you must be here to sign up. Iโll need all your childrenโs names.โ
โThis oneโs my oldest โ he is Terry.โ
โOK, and whoโs next?โ
โWell, this one he is Terry, also.โ
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.
โAll right,โ says the caseworker, โIโm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?โ
Their Mother replied, โWell, yes, it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell โTerry!โ, and when itโs time for dinner, I just yell โTerry!โ, and they all come running.
And if I need to stop the kid whoโs running into the street, I just yell Terry and all of them stop. Itโs the smartest idea I ever had, naming them all Terry.โ
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, โBut what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?โ
โI call them by their surnames.โ
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A guy is standing in the street shouting out, โI am God! I am God!โ
The police call a social worker who comes over to see if he can help.
Walking up to the guy he asks, โWhat is your name?โ
โI am God,โ the guy replies getting agitated.
The social worker says, โCalm down. Why donโt we go into this coffee shop, sit down and have a talk.โ
As soon as they enter the shop the barista looks at the guy and exclaims, โOh God, not you again!?โ
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Man tries to open a bank account.
Teller asks him, โYour name?โ
โJ-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh.โ
โOh, you stutter?โ
โNo, my dad did, but the person, who did by birth certificate, was a complete moron!โ
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Why did the owner name his racehorse โBad Newsโ?
Because bad news travels fast.
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What do you call a man who falls overboard and canโt swim?
Bob.
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What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
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What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
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What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?
Claude.
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What do you call a man who fixes potholes for a living?
Phil.
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What do you call a lady who is hanging from a roof?
Eve.
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What do you call a man who is always sitting on the toilet?
Lou.
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What do you call a man who is unable to stand up?
Neal.
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What do you call a man who keeps vomiting?
Chuck.
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What do you call a man who is always stealing stuff?
Rob.
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On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, โWhat are your parentsโ names?โ
The student replied, โMy fatherโs name is Laughing and my motherโs name is Smiling.โ
The teacher said, โAre you kidding?โ
The student said, โNo, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.โ
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