Jokes on Music
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Music Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender.
He says, “You’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, “Frank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who ruined your sax!”
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What is Spider-Man’s favorite online music app?
Spot-a-fly.
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What does Michael Jackson have in common with NASA?
It’s been decades since their first moonwalk.
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What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing”.
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I sold a thousand CDs but only made enough money to buy one ice cream.
Probably because each CD was Milli Vanilli.
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Why did the DJ get disqualified from the 400m sprint?
He kept changing tracks.
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I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart.
The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod (with earpiece).
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Stephen Sondheim, John Madden, and Betty White walk up to the Pearly Gates and St. Peter says, “We’re pretty full, so we’re making people pass additional tests.
I know this is going to sound weird, but God has been hanging out with Chuck Yeager this week, and he’s only letting in people who have a connection to Jets.”
All three sets of eyes light up.
Sondheim steps up and says, “I wrote the definitive American musical, and it was all about a gang called the Jets.”
St. Peter waves him through.
John Madden says, “I coached in a classic NFL game, where my Raiders beat the Jets on a last-second touchdown.”
Also gets waived through.
St. Peter says, “OK, Betty, what about you?”
She smiles and says, “If he’s really omniscient, he knows what I do in hot tubs...”
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I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said, “Do you mind if I put some music on?”
I said, “Not at all.”
He said, “‘Kiss?’”
I said, “Let’s listen to the music first and see how we feel”
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My neighbors listen to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
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What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.
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I play all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.
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“Somebody just gave me a shower radio.”
“Do you really want music in the shower?”
“I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”
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Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
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Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
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Patient: “Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
Doctor: “Yes, of course.”
Patient: “Great! I never could before!”
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