Enjoy our team's carefully selected Music Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender.
He says, βYouβve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?β The bartender turns to the band and yells, βFrank, Iβve got a lead on the guy who ruined your sax!β
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What is Spider-Manβs favorite online music app?
Spot-a-fly.
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What does Michael Jackson have in common with NASA?
Itβs been decades since their first moonwalk.
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Whatβs the National Donut Day theme song?
βDonut Stop Believingβ.
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I sold a thousand CDs but only made enough money to buy one ice cream.
Probably because each CD was Milli Vanilli.
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Why did the DJ get disqualified from the 400m sprint?
He kept changing tracks.
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I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart.
The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod (with earpiece).
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Stephen Sondheim, John Madden, and Betty White walk up to the Pearly Gates and St. Peter says, βWeβre pretty full, so weβre making people pass additional tests.
I know this is going to sound weird, but God has been hanging out with Chuck Yeager this week, and heβs only letting in people who have a connection to Jets.β
All three sets of eyes light up.
Sondheim steps up and says, βI wrote the definitive American musical, and it was all about a gang called the Jets.β
St. Peter waves him through.
John Madden says, βI coached in a classic NFL game, where my Raiders beat the Jets on a last-second touchdown.β
Also gets waived through.
St. Peter says, βOK, Betty, what about you?β
She smiles and says, βIf heβs really omniscient, he knows what I do in hot tubs...β
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I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said, βDo you mind if I put some music on?β
I said, βNot at all.β
He said, ββKiss?ββ
I said, βLetβs listen to the music first and see how we feelβ
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My neighbors listen to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
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Whatβs the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.
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I play all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.
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βSomebody just gave me a shower radio.β
βDo you really want music in the shower?β
βI guess thereβs no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.β
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Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
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Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
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Patient: βDoctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?β
Doctor: βYes, of course.β
Patient: βGreat! I never could before!β
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