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Mushrooms Puns and Hilarious Mushrooms Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Mushroom Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Mushroom Jokes


Don’t walk through a field of mushrooms.

It’s quite a tripping hazard.

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What type of mushrooms are the worst to have as friends?

Shiitalkin!

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What’s the difference between stormtroopers having a party and mushrooms being picked?

One’s bad guys having a fun time and the other one’s fungi having a bad time!

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I tried to post my opinion on mushrooms

But it was a shiitake!

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My stomach doesn’t tolerate mushrooms.

They really give me a Shiitake.

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What do you call when you mix brandy, shiitake mushrooms, rat poison and a dash of vanilla essence?

The ambulance.

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Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters?

He had no morel compass.

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All mushrooms are edible.

But some mushrooms are only edible once.

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Mushrooms are the most virtuous of fungi...

they have the best morels.

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Why is it not worth it to hunt for mushrooms?

It’s too much truffle.

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Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.

I said, β€œYou’re brilliant, what’s the band called?”

They replied, β€œWe are the Champignons, my friend.”

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I met this dude once who was really into mushrooms.

He was a real fun guy.

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Why are mushrooms popular at parties?

Because everyone loves a fun guy.

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Make sure to always be careful when eating mushrooms.

If you eat the wrong one you could be in truffle.

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Fourteen mushrooms were sitting at a lunch table.

One more asked to join.

One of them said, β€œSorry there is not mush-room.”

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So a mushroom walks into a bar.

Bartender says, β€œWe don’t serve mushrooms here. You’re always ruining jokes.”

The mushroom says, β€œCome on. I’m a fun guy.”

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My friend had mushrooms during the party.

Now he’s a fun guy.

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Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...

Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong Morel fiber.

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What do you get when a giant steps on a house?

Mush-rooms.

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What do you call a lady who enjoys mushrooms?

A fun-gal.

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β€œYou know, I think it’s your turn to pick wild mushrooms.” My girlfriend said.

So I gather.

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Why do fungi have to pay extra on the bus? Because they take up too mush room.

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Why did the mushroom have to leave her home?

It was growing toxic by the day.

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Where do mushrooms hang out on Saturday night?

The salad bar.

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What does a polite mushroom say?

β€œThank you very mush!”

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What did the fungi say when he was offered seconds at dinner?

β€œNo thanks. I don’t have mush-room left in my stomach.”

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What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?

Fungi to be around!

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Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?

He’s a fun guy.

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Not to be Mushy but since it is your birthday I just want to say: I think you are the most Fungiing awesome mom, you are cute as a Button, you put in the fun in Fungus, you have always been there for Morel support, and you are like a Truffle β€” hard to find and incredibly valuable.

You are the Champion of Moms! I mean I turned out alright, not to toot my own Trumpet.

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Two mushrooms were talking politics.

One mushroom said, β€œI think that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

The other said β€œThat’s a shiitake.”

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Why don’t mushrooms always get along?

They like to shiitake other.

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What kind of food says mean things about you behind your back?

Shiitake mushrooms.

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What kind of mushroom gets beat up the most?

A shiitake mushroom.

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Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom?

He was sick of all its shiitake.

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I’ve been superglued mushrooms all over my body.

My wife says it’s not right, but I’m sticking to my morels.

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I can’t stop my mushroom from leaning.

I think I need some morel support.

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Most of my group wanted to go mushroom hunting.

I call them the morel majority.

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There was a mushroom on the first floor of my house.

Morel of the storey.

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I don’t trust people who don’t like mushrooms.

Clearly they are of low Morel fiber.

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Why are books about mushrooms so confusing?

They have too many different morels.

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A man was deathly allergic to mushrooms.

After a huge fight, his wife cooked a mushroom into his dinner. He ate it and died.

The morel of the story.. killed him.

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β€œWhere did you get this mushroom recipe?” Husband asks his wife.

β€œIn a detective novel,” she answers.

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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?

Smurf poop.

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Don’t walk through a field of mushrooms.

It’s quite a tripping hazard.

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A guy walks into the doctor’s office.

A carrot stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a mushroom stuck in one nostril.

The man says, β€œDoc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, β€œWell, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”

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Why did the mushroom break up with her boyfriend?

Because he was toxic!

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A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.

β€œHow wonderful! I hope you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?”

β€œHe ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”

β€œOh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”

β€œHe also ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”

β€œOh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”

β€œHe died of a broken neck.”

β€œA broken neck?”

β€œHe wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”

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A group of country friends from the Wildwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Tom and Karen to be the hosts, Karen wanted to outdo all the others. Karen decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive.

She then told her husband, β€œNo mushrooms. They are too high.”

He said, β€œWhy don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.”

She said, β€œNo, some wild mushrooms are poison.”

He said, β€œWell, I see varmints eating them and they’re OK.”

So Karen decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.

Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol’ Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol’ Spot ate every bite.

All morning long, Karen watched Ol’ Spot and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Karen even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Karen’s ear.

She said, β€œMrs. Grim, Ol’ Spot just died.”

Karen went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, β€œThat’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We’ll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone’s stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.”

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.

The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, β€œI think everything will be fine now,” and he left.

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and said, β€œYou know, that fellow that ran over Ol’Spot never even stopped.”

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Broccoli: β€œHey, I look like a tree.”

Mushroom: β€œWow, I look just like an umbrella.”

Walnut: β€œI look exactly like a brain.”

Banana: β€œMan, can we change the topic please?”

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