Enjoy our team's carefully selected Morning Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
How do llamas wake up in the morning?
They use allama clocks.
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What a strange morning.
First, I find a hat full of money in the street.
And then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
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Remember that one time when you had to get out of bed and actually commute to your office?
Yeah, me neither.
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Yo mama so fat she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
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I canβt wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oβclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.
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Good Morning!
Monday through Friday, nine to 5, I reach function along with someone who reaches the workplace, with determination, increasing the spirits of every one of his office mates... after that thereβs you! You are additionally at the workplace!
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Every night, I go to bed determined to be productive the following day.
Hereβs to a good morning... tomorrow.
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Good Morning, sweetie!
When I get up, my initial idea is of just how you feel, after that, I obtain you a cup of coffee, placed it down, as well as back away, gradually...
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Good morning!
The boss is out sick so Iβm taking it upon myself to declare today a sick day for us all. Go back to bed!
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Good Morning, workmate!
Being around you has inspired me... to quit as well as locate a new work!
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A wife is frying eggs for her husband in the morning.
Suddenly the husband appears behind the wifeβs back and says:
βCareful, CAREFUL, put more fat in the pan! Youβre frying too many at a time. TOO MANY! Flip them! FLIP THEM! Come on!
Put more fat in there. Oh dear lord. How are you gonna make space for the fat now, look, theyβre sticking to the pan! Careful!
Careful now! You never listen to me when I cook! NEVER! Flip them over already. HURRY! ARE YOU CRAZY? Take it easy! EASY! Nooo, donβt forget the salt. Put salt on them, SALT!β
The wife stares at her husband:
βWhatβs wrong with you?! You think I canβt fry a few eggs?!β
The husband answers calmly:
βI just wanted to show you what it feels like when Iβm driving.β
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What happened to the guy who accidentally made his morning coffee with some Red Bull instead of water?
He got halfway to his work before realizing he had forgotten his car.
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How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?
He ate him on Sunday night!
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On Monday morning, rolling out of bed is easy...
Getting up off the floor is another story.
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What would you call the alarm clock, which always goes off at 2 am every day?
A ringing nightmare.
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The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
βExcuse me for disturbing you, maβam,β he said politely, βbut I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and Iβve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.β
βThatβs right.β
βEvery day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.β
βWell, today is his birthday.β
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