Moon Puns
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Moon Puns. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Short Moon Puns
Did you hear about the happy asteroid?
It was over the moon!
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Buzz Aldrin is a man who demands respect.
I saw him speak a while ago and he said, “I’m the second guy to walk on the moon...”
“Neil before me.”
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What did officials say after budget cuts forced them to cancel the last few moon missions?
We APOLLO-gize!
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What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
“Don’t worry! It’s just a phase it’s going through!”
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The moon is full tonight, do you think he eats too much?
No, it’s just a phase.
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Did you know they found water on the moon?
But only when it’s waning
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What do you get when you take a green cheese on the moon and divide its circumference by its diameter?
Moon pi.
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How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
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What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
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What do you call a person really crazy about the moon?
A lunatic.
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How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
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Why didn’t the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
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Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
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Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
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How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
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What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut.
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Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full!
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What do you use to hold things on the moon?
Crate-rs.
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What do you call a crazy moon?
Lunacy.
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Why don’t people like going to the moon?
It has no atmosphere.
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Why couldn’t the moon eat anymore?
It was a full moon.
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Why did the moon burp?
Because it was full!
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Why is the moon so hungry?
Because it’s only full once a month!
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What did the Moon say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime!
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What’s closer, France or the Moon?
The Moon, obviously! You can’t see France from here!
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How does the moon do his nails?
Eclipse them.
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Did you know, some fleas spend their lives jumping for the moon?
Lunar-tics.
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What did the therapist say to the moon?
Don’t worry, you’re just going through a phase.
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What did the moon say to the sun?
“Hello, Sun.”
What did the sun say to the moon?
“Dad?”
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How do you know when the moon is going broke?
When it’s down to its last quarter.
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What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
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What is the moon’s favorite cartoon?
Lunar-toons.
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Where does the moon go to get its qualifications?
Moon-iversity!
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How would the moon get their baby moon to sleep?
They rocket!
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Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
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What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunar-tick!
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What is the moon’s favorite type of cheese?
Moon-zerella cheese!
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How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it!
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Why did the moon get a parking ticket?
They forgot to pay the parking meteor!
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What holds the moon up?
Moon beams!
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What is the moon’s favorite type of music?
Rocket and roll!
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How do you organize a party for the moon?
You just planet!
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Why couldn’t the moon finish its dinner?
It was a full moon!
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What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honey-earth!
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What kind of books does the moon like to read?
Comet-books!
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I wonder what the moon’s favorite bagel is?
Probably cinna-moon raisin.
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Guess what makes the moon so cold?
She’s always deflecting the sun’s rays!
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What’s a vegan’s favorite non-terrestrial moon in the solar system?
En-salad-us.
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How much is the moon worth?
One dollar, because it has four quarters.
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What dance do all astronauts know?
The moonwalk.
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Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
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Why does nobody trust the man on the moon?
He has a dark side.
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Why did Ms. Moon split up with Mr. Sun?
He never wanted to go out with her at night.
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Which is older, the moon or the sun?
The moon, because it can stay out all night.
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Why is the moon constantly moody?
She’s just going through a phase.
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What insect comes from the moon?
A Luna Tick!
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Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
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Moon One-Liners
When the cow jumped over the moon...
Never have the steaks been so high.
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My kids have recently been super obsessed with the moon and my wife is starting to get worried.
I told her not to worry, it’s only a phase.
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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...
So, I took her to the planetarium.
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Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
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I suspect the moon wasn’t hungry last night.
It looked full.
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Went to a party on the moon once.
Didn’t really like it, no atmosphere.
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The reason that no one has returned to the moon for so long is that every time someone tries to book a hotel there, it’s full...
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Mooning is very ASStrological.
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Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
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Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics!
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Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He’s over the moon!
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Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they’ll change it back.
It’s only a phase, after all.
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NASA has finally announced what would have happened to the earth if the moon wasn’t present.
50% less poems and love songs.
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I wonder how NASA felt after Apollo 11’s success.
I bet they were over the moon.
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An Irishman walks into NASA and asks:
“Can Ireland my spaceship on the moon?”
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I’d move to the moon, but the cost of living is astronomical.
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An astronaut stepped in gum on the moon.
He’s stuck in orbit.
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My son identifies as a crescent moon.
I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
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The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
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Did you see the moon this evening?
It’s absolutely blue-tiful!
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The astronauts were pretty upset there was no wi-fi on the moon, they wanted to update their spacebook status!
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No need to Apollo-gize, I know you didn’t moon what you said!
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You know, you’re being a little moon-dy, I hope it’s just a phase!
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On the moon they love a fancy breakfast, today they are having crescents!
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When the moon is being super grumpy, its parents turn to each other and say, “Gibbous strength!”
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I went to my first full moon party at the weekend, I have to say, it eclipsed my expectations!
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I wonder if the moon prefers coffee or gravi-tea?
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The moon is so cheeky, it’s always playing lunar-tricks.
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The moon has been talking for a long time now, I think it’s just moon-ologging at this point!
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I don’t mean to sound o-moon-ous, but that meteor looks awfully big!
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Those who study the moon are real optimists, they tend to look at the bright side.
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Our cardboard spaceship will be great! Just use your i-moon-gination!
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Are you trying to moon-ipulate me?
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I’ve invented a solar-powered still!
It turns sunshine into moonshine.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons.
If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.
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Moon Jokes for Adults
NASA is getting transmission from their moon mission astronauts.
“Houston, we have a problem. Russians just landed on the moon.”
“It’s OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians.”
“Houston, we have a problem. Russians started to paint moon red.”
“It’s OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians.”
“Houston, we have a problem. Half of the moon is painted red and they continue.”
“It’s OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians.”
“Houston, we have a problem. Whole moon is now red.”
“Now is our time! Open compartment 3B/C, it contains white paint. And start painting: Coca-Cola.”
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A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him.
“Father, father look,” the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly. “The Americans have gone to the moon.”
The farmer drops his plow and asks excitedly, “All of them?”
“No, just 3,” replies the kid.
“Damn it!” The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.
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Kung Fu student asks his teacher, “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.”
And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?”
“Yes, my master, I have.”
“And a waterfall, spilling mightily over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?”
“Yes, my master, I have witnessed it.”
And the moon... when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?”
“Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon.”
“That is the problem. You keep watching all this poop instead of training!”
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I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon...
The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.
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I am half Spider-Man, half batman and half moon knight...
Poor.
With no powers.
With mental disorders.
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Why doesn’t the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
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What do you call a rampaging cow under the full moon?
Udder lunacy.
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Why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it’s a gray area.
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Why were there bones on the moon?
Because the cow didn’t make it.
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Son: “Hey dad, can you guess what is worse than no moon?”
Dad: “No sun?”
Son: “You don’t even want to take a guess?”
Dad: “No sun!”
Son: “You’re so stubborn, the answer is no sun.”
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The moon landing is obviously fake.
Like come on, the moon is still up there. It never landed.
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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.
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The sun and moon walked into a coffee shop.
Sun: “Oh man, I forgot my wallet!”
Moon: “Don’t worry, I’ll cover you.”
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You know, if the moon landing was faked, NASA owes us a huge Apollo-gy!
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What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?
An Apocaclipse.
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One Sunny afternoon, two blondes walk down the street.
One of them suddenly points at the sun and says: “Look! That’s the moon over there!”
The other one says: “No, that’s the sun!”
The first one: “No, it’s the moon!”
The other one, again: “No, it’s the sun!”
After arguing for a while, the “smart” one says: “Let’s go to that house over there and ask, what’s right!”
They go to the house and ring the doorbell. Another blonde opens the door.
The “smart” one asks: “Excuse us, can you tell us, whether it’s the sun or the moon in the sky?”
The blonde looks and says: “I wouldn’t know! I’ve only been living here for two weeks!”
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.
She asks him: “Little Johnny, what do you want your wife to be like?”
He: “Like the moon.”
The teacher: “That’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.
Little Johnny: “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”
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Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
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Space Puns
I was going to the moon on vacation and I read it gets to -280 degrees at night.
I might need a space heater.
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What do you call a lazy man in space?
A procrastronaut.
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Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?
Because she needed some space.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What does the moon like to have on its toast?
Space Jam!
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What’s the best drink they make in space?
Le-moon-ade!
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I’m not really enjoying this space flight, I’d like to speak to the moon-agement!
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It’s hard to have a serious conversation with an astronaut, you would think they would understand the gravity of the situation!
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How does an astronaut tell the time?
They just check their rocket watch.
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The moon seems to be going through another phase, should we get outer its space?
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What did the grouchy moon say?
Just get outer my space!
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What board game do they love to play in space?
Moon-opoly!
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What is the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moon-day!
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