Minecraft Jokes

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Minecraft Jokes

Had an encounter with a dyslexic witch.

I am safe because she couldn’t spell.

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Adam meets a witch.

The witch tells him: β€œTell me I am pretty, or you will be cursed!”

Adam: β€œSorry, but I don’t find you attractive.”

Witch: β€œTake that back, or you most surely will be cursed!

Adam: β€œNope. You’re hideous.”

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: β€œLook where your rudeness brought you!”

Adam: β€œYeah, this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato.”

Witch: β€œVery well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!”

He is still adamant.

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King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old ugly witch can cure him.

But the witch demanded a young, handsome knight for husband, and Galahad took it for the team and married her.

On the night of the wedding, the witch turned into a beautiful woman and offered Galahad the choice, she can be old and ugly during the day, and young and beautiful at night, or vice versa.

Galahad told her that he respected her choice over her appearance and she can decide that.

The witch was pleased, as Galahad knew what a woman wanted the most, is freedom over her body.

She told Galahad that she will be a beautiful wife all the time for him.

The moral of the story is, no matter how good your wife looks, she is still a witch underneath.

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Fitted sheets were originally invented in 1682 in Salem, MA.

Unfortunately, they didn’t catch on at that time, since anyone who could actually fold them was accused of witchcraft and subsequently burned at the stake.

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While I was drunk last night, I was apparently accused of witchcraft.

The next day, I was hung over.

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If people want to learn more about witchcraft...

Do they go to Wiccapedia?

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Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

Today, it’s called golf.

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Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy?

It was the wicked witch of rest.

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What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?

They grow cubic hair.

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What’s the square root of Minecraft?

There are three, actually: the potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.

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I just love the new Minecraft update.

It’s ground-breaking.

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How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?

They all have square eyes.

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What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created Minecraft?


So he can mine it.

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Why is Minecraft so popular with kids?

Because they love to hang out on corners.

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I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account.

So they blocked me.

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Chuck Norris didn’t survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... with a stick.

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How can Minecraft players avoid sunburn?


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