Milk Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Milk Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I was driving down the road today when I say a sign for fresh Amish cheese that read, “Made with real Amish milk.”
I didn’t even know you could milk the Amish.
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I was having random bouts of diarrhea but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.
Then I started keeping track.
I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.
Turns out I’m Lacoste intolerant.
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What did the customer say to the cashier who asked if he wanted his milk in a bag?
“Just leave it in the carton, please.”
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A wife asks her husband to go to the shop to buy a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, to get six.
The husband returns with six cartons of milk.
When the wife asks, “Why did you buy so much milk?!”
He replies, “They had eggs.”
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If I ever go missing, I would like my photo, but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons.
This way my friends will know where to look for me.
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What do you call it when you walk into a tea shop and feel like you’ve been there before?
Déja-brew.
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What is a deer’s favorite boba flavor?
C-antelope!
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Was drinking a milkshake.
Me: “Dammit, I think there’s a hole in the side of my straw.”
Dad: “You think that’s bad?! Mine’s got one at the top and one at the bottom.”
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When I was a kid I could go to the store with only $5 and come home with bread, milk, hot dogs and my favorite candy.
You can’t do that these days...
Too many damned security cameras.
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What did the planets drink when they wanted to bulk up?
Milky Whey.
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It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
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Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
To get chocolate milk.
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Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.
He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled “The Milky Bars are on me!”, people just cheered.
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Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
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Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
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Yo mama so old her breast milk is powder.
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What are the sun’s favorite chocolate bars?
A Milky Way.
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My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk.
How dairy.
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Just went to the store and bought milk, cereal, juice and ice cream.
Cashier: “You must be single, right?”
Me: “Yes! How did you know?”
Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”
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During a biology exam, a student has to list three pros of breast milk.
He’s unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
– Contains all the nutrients a baby needs.
– Doesn’t need heating.
But he still needs one more.
And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
– Has great packaging.
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If cows laughed, milk would come out of their noses.
I guess that’s why they moo.
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What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
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