Military Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Military Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do the US military and a fart have in common?
Air Force.
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Why are they called the armed forces?
Because it’s hard to fight a war with just your legs.
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Sergeant: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training.”
Private: “Thank you, sir!”
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While testing a newly installed computer, an army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer “Yes”.
Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer barked, “Yes, what?”
Instantly the machine replied, “Yes, sir!”
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My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.
He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.
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My wife was talking about funeral plans.
My Wife: “I said we’ll give you a military send off like the sailors on a ship.”
Me: “I was in the Air Force.”
My Wife: “OK, we’ll toss you out of an airplane.”
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Yo mama is so old she trained Yada’s master in the force!
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The military was standing outside my house, guess what I did?
I-ran.
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A soldier ran up to a nun.
Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.”
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”
The nun replied, “He went that way.”
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq.”
The nun said, “I understand completely.”
The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”
The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don’t want to go to Iraq either.
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