Mexico Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Mexico Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because every Juan that can jump, run and swim is already in the U.S.
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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answered Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that, get off the bike!”
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, “What have you got?”
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard later meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”
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How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
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What’s a Mexican’s favorite martial art?
Tae K-Juan Do.
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What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?
Juan in a million.
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How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
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Did you hear about the Mexican that got shot at the golf course?
It was a hole in Juan.
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Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes, and you have to smear them with avocado?
I really suck at guac-a-mole.
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The shady workers behind the Mexican restaurant...
That’s nacho business.
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An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn’t wearing his watch.
A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree.
The American approaches the Mexican and asks, “Excuse me, do you know what time is?”
The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, “4:30.”
The American asks, “How do you know that?”
The Mexican replies, “Well you get a handful of the donkey’s balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street.”
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Yo mama so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
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My friend: “My girlfriend said she wanted to eat tacos, so we flew to Mexico.”
Me: “Hey babe, what do you wanna eat?”
Her: “Nothing.”
Me: Flies to Africa.
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