Enjoy our team's carefully selected May Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I’m sticking with my citrus diet until June.
Cumquat May.
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Someone told me today is June 1st.
But they May be wrong.
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Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use-by date?
It was mayhem.
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What did the calendar say to the wall clock when it became June 1st?
“I am dismayed!”
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What do you call someone who doesn’t believe it is June yet?
A May-sayer.
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What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
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What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fools’ prank feel?
Dismay.
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Two yokels were driving to the next village’s May Day Fair.
They came to a sign that said: May Day Fair Left.
So they turned around and went home.
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What condiment should you always use in May?
Mayo.
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A townie was looking for the May Day Fair, he stopped and asked Jethro, ”Will this road take me to the May Day Fair?”
“Oh no,” said Jethro. “You’ll have to go by yourself!”
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What’s a teacher’s favorite way to celebrate National Teacher Day on May 2nd?
By giving students a pop quiz to see if they’ve been may-taining their knowledge.
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Why is March through May the best time of the month to buy a mattress?
It’s when they are the most springy.
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An employee asked his boss, “Can I have a few days off seeing as it’s so close to Christmas?”
The boss said, “It’s May.”
“Sorry,” the employee replied, “May I have a few days off seeing as it’s so close to Christmas?”
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Can February march?
No, but April may.
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Did you know bees become indecisive after April?
They become maybees.
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Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months on his calendar?
Because he lost May.
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