Mango Puns and Hilarious Mango Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Mango Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Mango Jokes

Deathrowโ€™s last meal.

The officer asks the inmate what would be his last meal.

The inmate replies, โ€œI want mangoesโ€.

Officer says, โ€œIt is not mango season yet.โ€

Inmate says, โ€œI guess I would just have to wait.โ€

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In Jamaica, how do you know if a mango is ripe?

Pokรฉmon GO!

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Singular: one mango

Plural: Two menwent

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What is a recently divorced womanโ€™s favorite fruit?


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What do you call a Scottish girl with a fake tan in an Indian restaurant?

A mango lassie.

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Monkey sees an Elephant climbing a banana tree.

Confused, monkey calls out to elephant, โ€œHey, elephant, why are you climbing that tree?โ€

Elephant says, โ€œIโ€™m going to eat me a mango!โ€

Monkey responds, โ€œBut that isnโ€™t a mango tree!โ€

Elephant says, โ€œDonโ€™t worry about it, I brought my own.โ€

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New to the country, and not knowing a word of English, Con the Greek got a job at a fruit stand.

The manager told him, โ€œLook, there are only 3 phrases you need to know:

If they say how much are the mangoes, you say โ€œ$5 a kiloโ€.

If they ask if theyโ€™re ripe, you say โ€œSome are, some arenโ€™tโ€.

If they say they donโ€™t want to buy, you shrug and say โ€œIf you donโ€™t, someone else willโ€.โ€

After many attempts using hand gestures, he is satisfied that Con gets it. So he leaves Con alone to see how he goes on his first day.

The first customer comes in and asks how much the mangoes are.

He says, โ€œFive-a dolla per-a kilo.โ€

The guy asks if they are ripe.

He says, โ€œSumma dey are, Summa dey arenโ€™t.โ€

He says maybe next time.

So Con shrugs and tells him, as instructed, โ€œIf you-a donโ€™t, summabody else will.โ€

The guy shakes his head and leaves.

Later, another customer comes in.

He asks Con for the time.

Con replies, โ€œFive-a dolla per-a kilo.โ€

The guy looks very confused, stares at Con for a few seconds, and then asks him, โ€œIs your whole family crazy like you are?โ€

Con shakes his head and replies, โ€œSumma dey are, Summa dey arenโ€™t.โ€

The guy is getting pretty angry by now, thinking Con is playing with him.

The guy says, โ€œSo, do you want me to punch you in the face right now?!โ€

Con shrugs again and says, โ€œIf you-a donโ€™t, summabody else will.โ€

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Two drunkards are from their usual drinking spree on their way home when they spot a mango fruit up the tree.

They start tossing stones at the fruit to fell it, after what seems like a lifetime missing the target.

One says to the other, โ€œMaybe it is not even ripe, let me scale up the tree and takeย a closer look.โ€

The other agrees.

He tediously scales up the tree and gently squeezes the fruit to feel if it is ripe.

He comes down joyfully to his friend and say, โ€œYeap, the fruit is damn ripe, letโ€™s get it.โ€

And they continue tossing the stones to the fruit.

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My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of the stuff!

Itโ€™s enough to make a mango crazy.

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I had to fire the fruit delivery guy today.

I really had to let the mango he was driving me bananas.

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What is the opposite of mango?


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Your boyfriend doesnโ€™t get your fruit puns?

You got to let that mango.

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