Jokes on Lovers

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Lover Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Lover Jokes

When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet.

I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Quick, jump out the window,” she says to him.

“What???” the guy says. “We’re on the 13th floor!”

She says, “Just jump, this is no time to be superstitious!”

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A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door.

“Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”

Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.

He turned to his wife, “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”

“Nonsense,” said the wife. “You’re so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.”

The husband climbed out of bed and counted, “One, two, three, four. You’re right, you know.”

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What sign was hanging outside the room where all the donut lovers were having a meeting?

It was a sign that said “Donut disturb!”.

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Donut judge me for being a dessert lover!

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What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentine’s day?

His heart! (Well, not his.)

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What does the mushroom say to his lover?

“I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”

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A balding man was getting a haircut.

The man’s barber said, “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”

Man: “No.”

Barber: “They say you’re a thinker.”

Man: “Oh?!”

Barber: “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”

Man: “No.”

Barber: “They say you’re a lover.”

The man perked up.

Man: “What do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”

Barber: “That you only think you’re a lover.”

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