Enjoy our team's carefully selected Love Jokes . Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I have so mush-room in my heart for you.
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I wish love is like a baby shampoo it has “No more tears formula”.
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True love is like a pillow: you can hug it when you’re in trouble, you can cry on it when you’re in pain, you can embrace it when you’re happy.
So when you need true love, Buy a pillow!
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What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
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Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my partner treats me like toxic waste!
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Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, it’s going to end in a mess.
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Love is a lot like peeing your pants.
Only you can feel the warm sensation from such an experience.
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One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.”
After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, “Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she’s a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.”
“Susan is actually your half sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”
George was brokenhearted.
After eight months he eventually started dating girls again.
A year later he came home and very proudly announced, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news, “Diane is your half sister too, George. I’m awfully sorry about this.”
George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.
“Dad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married,” he complained. “Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister.”
“Hee hee,” his mother chuckled, shaking her head, “Don’t pay any attention to what he says. He’s not really your father.”
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“Dad, did you ever fall in love?”
“Yes, son. I did once.”
“And, what happened?”
“In the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.”
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You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.
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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.
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I love summer in Canada!
It’s my favorite day of the year!
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Why do SEO’s love the farmers market?
Lots of organic content!
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A balding man was getting a haircut.
The man’s barber said, “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a thinker.”
Man: “Oh?!”
Barber: “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a lover.”
The man perked up.
Man: “What do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”
Barber: “That you only think you’re a lover.”
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Man: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God: “So you would love her?”
Man: “But God, why did you make her so dumb?”
God: “So she would love you?”
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Before Marriage.
Boy: “Ah at last. I can hardly wait.”
Girl: “Do you want me to leave?”
Boy: “No, don't even think about it.”
Girl: “Do you love me?”
Boy: “Of Course. Always have and always will.”
Girl: “Have you ever cheated on me?”
Boy: “Never. Why are you even asking?”
Girl: “Will you kiss me?”
Boy: “Hell no. Are you crazy?”
Girl: “Can I trust you?”
Boy: “Yes.”
Girl: “Darling!”
After Marriage… (Read from bottom to top)
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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
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