Enjoy our team's carefully selected Love Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Marriage is love.
Love is blind.
Marriage is an institution.
Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
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I just told my crush that Iβm in love with her. She said that she sees me as her brother.
Iβm just lucky she is from Alabama.
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The sunflower was feeling lonely.
He said he just wanted to get some-bud-y to love.
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Why are spirits so lonely?
They have no body to love.
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Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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Let me be frank, I love the summer.
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I love vegan food!
It makes an excellent side dish to any meat.
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What do you call it when Spider-Man is involved in a love triangle?
A tangled web.
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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
Iβm worried she means displacement, not distance.
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What sign was hanging outside the room where all the donut lovers were having a meeting?
It was a sign that said βDonut disturb!β.
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Please, donut break my heart.
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Donut judge me for being a dessert lover!
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What did the basketball player who loved donuts say after the match?
Letβs go to Dunkinβ Donuts for the hole food protein!
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Hole me closer, tiny donut.
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You donut know how much I love you!
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Yo mama so fat Cupidβs arrows couldnβt pierce her.
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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend, βWhat gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentineβs Day?β
βWell, I donβt knowβ she answers shyly.
βOK, that I give you another year to think about it...β
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Girl: βWhat if a boy hugs me?β
Mom: βSay βdonβtβ.β
Girl: βWhat if he kisses me?β
Mom: βSay βstopβ.β
The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DONβT STOP!
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What do love and fatty foods have in common?
They both go straight for your heart!
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What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentineβs day?
His heart! (Well, not his.)
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What did the electric socket say to their spouse?
βI love you a watt!β
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I donut want to glaze over the fact that I love you a hole bunch.
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I hope you like veggies cause I love you from my head tomatoes.
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Girlfriend: βOur new neighbor always kisses his girlfriend when he leaves for work. Why donβt you do that?β
Boyfriend: βHow can I? I donβt even know her.β
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Boyfriend: βI love you.β
Girlfriend: βIs that you or the wine talking?β
Boyfriend: βItβs me talking to the wine.β
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A T-Rex told his girlfriend, βI love you this much,β as he stretched out his arms.
To which the girlfriend replied, βThatβs not very much at all!β
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I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but itβs just not as big.
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I love you more than ice cream.
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Have you ever seen something so attractive and so hot that it makes you melt like ice cream when you see try to get close to it?
I havenβt. I think Iβm seeing stars.
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I love Valentineβs Day: the bottle of wine, the heart-shaped ice cream cake...
Taking them home and eating them alone while crying and watching YouTube videos.
Good times.
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I have so mush-room in my heart for you.
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I wish love is like a baby shampoo it has βNo more tears formulaβ.
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True love is like a pillow: you can hug it when youβre in trouble, you can cry on it when youβre in pain, you can embrace it when youβre happy.
So when you need true love, Buy a pillow!
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Whatβs the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
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Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my partner treats me like toxic waste!
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Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, itβs going to end in a mess.
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Love is a lot like peeing your pants.
Only you can feel the warm sensation from such an experience.
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One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, βDad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.β
After dinner, Georgeβs dad took him aside, βSon, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, sheβs a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.β
βSusan is actually your half-sister, and Iβm afraid you canβt marry her.β
George was brokenhearted.
After eight months he eventually started dating girls again.
A year later he came home and very proudly announced, βDiane said yes! Weβre getting married in June.β
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news, βDiane is your half-sister too, George. Iβm awfully sorry about this.β
George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.
βDad has done so much harm. I guess Iβm never going to get married,β he complained. βEvery time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.β
βHee hee,β his mother chuckled, shaking her head, βDonβt pay any attention to what he says. Heβs not really your father.β
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βDad, did you ever fall in love?β
βYes, son. I did once.β
βAnd, what happened?β
βIn the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.β
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You are like dandruff because I just can not get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.
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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.
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I love summer in Canada!
Itβs my favorite day of the year!
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Why do SEOs love the farmers market?
Lots of organic content!
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A balding man was getting a haircut.
The manβs barber said, βDo you know what they say if youβre bald in the front?β
Man: βNo.β
Barber: βThey say youβre a thinker.β
Man: βOh?!β
Barber: βDo you know what they say if youβre bald in the back?β
Man: βNo.β
Barber: βThey say youβre a lover.β
The man perked up.
Man: βWhat do they say if youβre bald in the front and the back?β
Barber: βThat you only think youβre a lover.β
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Man: βGod, why did you make woman so beautiful?β
God: βSo you would love her?β
Man: βBut God, why did you make her so dumb?β
God: βSo she would love you?β
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Before Marriage.
Boy: βAh at last. I can hardly wait.β
Girl: βDo you want me to leave?β
Boy: βNo, don't even think about it.β
Girl: βDo you love me?β
Boy: βOf Course. Always have and always will.β
Girl: βHave you ever cheated on me?β
Boy: βNever. Why are you even asking?β
Girl: βWill you kiss me?β
Boy: βHell no. Are you crazy?β
Girl: βCan I trust you?β
Boy: βYes.β
Girl: βDarling!β
After Marriage⦠(Read from bottom to top)
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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
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