Jokes on Love

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Love Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Love Jokes

Why do people love blue jokes?

They’re so pun-derful.

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I asked Uranus about its love life.

And it replied, β€œIt’s complicated, I’m in a gas-tly relationship.”

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A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words, and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her β€œmy darling”.

But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.Β 

At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.Β 

Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, β€œMy darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” 

And the lady said, β€œPardon?”

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What did the skydiver say in autumn?

I love the fall.

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Marriage is love.

Love is blind.

Marriage is an institution.

Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

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I just told my crush that I’m in love with her. She said that she sees me as her brother.

I’m just lucky she is from Alabama.

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The sunflower was feeling lonely.

He said he just wanted to get some-bud-y to love.

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Why are spirits so lonely?

They have no body to love.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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Let me be frank, I love the summer.

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I love vegan food!

It makes an excellent side dish to any meat.

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What do you call it when Spider-Man is involved in a love triangle?

A tangled web.

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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.

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What sign was hanging outside the room where all the donut lovers were having a meeting?

It was a sign that said β€œDonut disturb!”.

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Please, donut break my heart.

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Donut judge me for being a dessert lover!

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What did the basketball player who loved donuts say after the match?

Let’s go to Dunkin’ Donuts for the hole food protein!

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Hole me closer, tiny donut.

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You donut know how much I love you!

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Yo mama so fat Cupid’s arrows couldn’t pierce her.

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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend, β€œWhat gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?”

β€œWell, I don’t know” she answers shyly.

β€œOK, that I give you another year to think about it...”

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Girl: β€œWhat if a boy hugs me?”

Mom: β€œSay β€˜don’t’.”

Girl: β€œWhat if he kisses me?”

Mom: β€œSay β€˜stop’.”

The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON’T STOP!

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What do love and fatty foods have in common?

They both go straight for your heart!

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What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentine’s day?

His heart! (Well, not his.)

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What did the electric socket say to their spouse?

β€œI love you a watt!”

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I donut want to glaze over the fact that I love you a hole bunch.

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I hope you like veggies cause I love you from my head tomatoes.

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Girlfriend: β€œOur new neighbor always kisses his girlfriend when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”

Boyfriend: β€œHow can I? I don’t even know her.”

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Boyfriend: β€œI love you.”

Girlfriend: β€œIs that you or the wine talking?”

Boyfriend: β€œIt’s me talking to the wine.”

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A T-Rex told his girlfriend, β€œI love you this much,” as he stretched out his arms.

To which the girlfriend replied, β€œThat’s not very much at all!”

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I love you with all my butt.

I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.

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I love you more than ice cream.

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Have you ever seen something so attractive and so hot that it makes you melt like ice cream when you see try to get close to it?

I haven’t. I think I’m seeing stars.

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I love Valentine’s Day: the bottle of wine, the heart-shaped ice cream cake...

Taking them home and eating them alone while crying and watching YouTube videos.

Good times.

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I have so mush-room in my heart for you.

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I wish love is like a baby shampoo it has β€œNo more tears formula”.

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True love is like a pillow: you can hug it when you’re in trouble, you can cry on it when you’re in pain, you can embrace it when you’re happy.

So when you need true love, Buy a pillow!

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What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

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Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my partner treats me like toxic waste!

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Love is like farting.

If you have to force it, it’s going to end in a mess.

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Love is a lot like peeing your pants.

Only you can feel the warm sensation from such an experience.

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One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, β€œDad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.”

After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, β€œSon, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she’s a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.”

β€œSusan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”

George was brokenhearted.

After eight months he eventually started dating girls again.

A year later he came home and very proudly announced, β€œDiane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news, β€œDiane is your half-sister too, George. I’m awfully sorry about this.”

George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.

β€œDad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married,” he complained. β€œEvery time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.”

β€œHee hee,” his mother chuckled, shaking her head, β€œDon’t pay any attention to what he says. He’s not really your father.”

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β€œDad, did you ever fall in love?”

β€œYes, son. I did once.”

β€œAnd, what happened?”

β€œIn the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.”

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You are like dandruff because I just can not get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.

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I love summer in Canada!

It’s my favorite day of the year!

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Why do SEOs love the farmers market?

Lots of organic content!

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A balding man was getting a haircut.

The man’s barber said, β€œDo you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”

Man: β€œNo.”

Barber: β€œThey say you’re a thinker.”

Man: β€œOh?!”

Barber: β€œDo you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”

Man: β€œNo.”

Barber: β€œThey say you’re a lover.”

The man perked up.

Man: β€œWhat do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”

Barber: β€œThat you only think you’re a lover.”

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Man: β€œGod, why did you make woman so beautiful?”

God: β€œSo you would love her?”

Man: β€œBut God, why did you make her so dumb?”

God: β€œSo she would love you?”

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Before Marriage.

Boy: β€œAh at last. I can hardly wait.”

Girl: β€œDo you want me to leave?”

Boy: β€œNo, don't even think about it.”

Girl: β€œDo you love me?”

Boy: β€œOf Course. Always have and always will.”

Girl: β€œHave you ever cheated on me?”

Boy: β€œNever. Why are you even asking?”

Girl: β€œWill you kiss me?”

Boy: β€œHell no. Are you crazy?”

Girl: β€œCan I trust you?”

Boy: β€œYes.”

Girl: β€œDarling!”

After Marriage… (Read from bottom to top)

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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

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