Jokes on Love

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Love Jokes . Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Why are spirits so lonely?

They have no body to love.

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I love vegan food!

It makes an excellent side dish to any meat.

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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.

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What sign was hanging outside the room where all the donut lovers were having a meeting?

It was a sign that said “Donut disturb!”.

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Please, donut break my heart.

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Donut judge me for being a dessert lover!

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What did the basketball player who loved donuts say after the match?

Let’s go to Dunkin’ Donuts for the hole food protein!

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Hole me closer, tiny donut.

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You donut know how much I love you!

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Yo mama so fat, Cupid’s arrows couldn’t pierce her.

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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend, “What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?”

“Well, I don’t know” she answers shyly.

“OK, that I give you another year to think about it...”

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Girl: “What if a boy hugs me?”

Mom: “Say ‘don’t’.”

Girl: “What if he kisses me?”

Mom: “Say ‘stop’.”

The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON’T STOP!

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What do love and fatty foods have in common?

They both go straight for your heart!

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What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentine’s day?

His heart! (Well, not his.)

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What did the electric socket say to their spouse?

“I love you a watt!”

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I donut want to glaze over the fact that I love you a hole bunch.

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I hope you like veggies cause I love you from my head tomatoes.

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Girlfriend: “Our new neighbor always kisses his girlfriend when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”

Boyfriend: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”

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Boyfriend: “I love you.”

Girlfriend: “Is that you or the wine talking?”

Boyfriend: “It’s me talking to the wine.”

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A T-Rex told his girlfriend, “I love you this much,” as he stretched out his arms.

To which the girlfriend replied, “That’s not very much at all!”

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I love you with all my butt.

I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.

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I love you more than ice cream.

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Have you ever seen something so attractive and so hot that it makes you melt like ice cream when you see try to get close to it?

I haven’t. I think I’m seeing stars.

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I love Valentine’s Day: the bottle of wine, the heart-shaped ice cream cake...

Taking them home and eating them alone while crying and watching YouTube videos.

Good times.

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I have so mush-room in my heart for you.

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I wish love is like a baby shampoo it has “No more tears formula”.

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True love is like a pillow: you can hug it when you’re in trouble, you can cry on it when you’re in pain, you can embrace it when you’re happy.

So when you need true love, Buy a pillow!

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What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

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Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my partner treats me like toxic waste!

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Love is like farting.

If you have to force it, it’s going to end in a mess.

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Love is a lot like peeing your pants.

Only you can feel the warm sensation from such an experience.

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One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.”

After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, “Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she’s a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.”

“Susan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”

George was brokenhearted.

After eight months he eventually started dating girls again.

A year later he came home and very proudly announced, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news, “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m awfully sorry about this.”

George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.

“Dad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married,” he complained. “Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.”

“Hee hee,” his mother chuckled, shaking her head, “Don’t pay any attention to what he says. He’s not really your father.”

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“Dad, did you ever fall in love?”

“Yes, son. I did once.”

“And, what happened?”

“In the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.”

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You are like dandruff because I just can not get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.

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I love summer in Canada!

It’s my favorite day of the year!

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Why do SEOs love the farmers market?

Lots of organic content!

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A balding man was getting a haircut.

The man’s barber said, “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”

Man: “No.”

Barber: “They say you’re a thinker.”

Man: “Oh?!”

Barber: “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”

Man: “No.”

Barber: “They say you’re a lover.”

The man perked up.

Man: “What do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”

Barber: “That you only think you’re a lover.”

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Man: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”

God: “So you would love her?”

Man: “But God, why did you make her so dumb?”

God: “So she would love you?”

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Before Marriage.

Boy: “Ah at last. I can hardly wait.”

Girl: “Do you want me to leave?”

Boy: “No, don't even think about it.”

Girl: “Do you love me?”

Boy: “Of Course. Always have and always will.”

Girl: “Have you ever cheated on me?”

Boy: “Never. Why are you even asking?”

Girl: “Will you kiss me?”

Boy: “Hell no. Are you crazy?”

Girl: “Can I trust you?”

Boy: “Yes.”

Girl: “Darling!”

After Marriage… (Read from bottom to top)

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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

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