Liverpool Jokes



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Liverpool Jokes


Why is it always cloudy in Liverpool?

Because they banned The Sun.

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Why did the Liverpool fan always help his wife with Chinese cooking?

So she’d never wok alone.

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How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just sit and talk about how good the old one was.

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An interviewer met a couple of Liverpool supporters at the pub the other night.

β€œDo you often go to Anfield?” the interviewer asked.

β€œYeah, of course!” they said. β€œWe’ve found the perfect way. Ten minutes after kick-off, we climb over a fence!”

β€œThat sounds great,” the interviewer replied.

β€œYeah, but last week we were caught and had to sit down and watch the rest of the game,” replied one of the fans.

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A driver goes into a car accessories store.

β€œI’d like a satnav, please.”

β€œOK,” said the assistant, β€œwe have every model possible, European routes, world routes, UK routes.”

β€œI’ll just take the UK one, please,” said the driver.

β€œAre you sure, sir, easy to get lost round Europe,” replied the assistant.

β€œNo, the UK is fine,” said the driver, β€œit’s for the Liverpool team bus next season.”

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I just found out that the UK doesn’t have a kidney bank.

But at least it has a Liverpool.

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Three soccer playersβ€”one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenalβ€”are lost in the desert.

They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what.

So the guy from Manchester says, β€œWell, since I’m from ManCHESTer, I’ll get the chest.

The player from Liverpool goes, β€œWell, in that case I'll eat the liver.

Then guy from ARSEnal says, β€œI’m not hungry...”

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