Liverpool Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Liverpool Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Liverpool Jokes

Why is it always cloudy in Liverpool?

Because they banned The Sun.

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Why did the Liverpool fan always help his wife with Chinese cooking?

So she’d never wok alone.

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How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just sit and talk about how good the old one was.

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An interviewer met a couple of Liverpool supporters at the pub the other night.

β€œDo you often go to Anfield?” the interviewer asked.

β€œYeah, of course!” they said. β€œWe’ve found the perfect way. Ten minutes after kick-off, we climb over a fence!”

β€œThat sounds great,” the interviewer replied.

β€œYeah, but last week we were caught and had to sit down and watch the rest of the game,” replied one of the fans.

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A driver goes into a car accessories store.

β€œI’d like a satnav, please.”

β€œOK,” said the assistant, β€œwe have every model possible, European routes, world routes, UK routes.”

β€œI’ll just take the UK one, please,” said the driver.

β€œAre you sure, sir, easy to get lost round Europe,” replied the assistant.

β€œNo, the UK is fine,” said the driver, β€œit’s for the Liverpool team bus next season.”

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I just found out that the UK doesn’t have a kidney bank.

But at least it has a Liverpool.

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Three soccer playersβ€”one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenalβ€”are lost in the desert.

They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what.

So the guy from Manchester says, β€œWell, since I’m from ManCHESTer, I’ll get the chest.

The player from Liverpool goes, β€œWell, in that case I'll eat the liver.

Then guy from ARSEnal says, β€œI’m not hungry...”

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