Lion Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Lion Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Lion Jokes

A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.

He stopped one of the runners and asked, β€œWhat’s happening?”

The runner replied breathlessly, β€œA lion has escaped from the zoo.”

β€œOh my, which way is it heading?”

β€œWell, you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”

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A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, β€œWho is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The trembling monkey says, β€œYou are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, β€œWho is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The terrified ox stammers, β€œOh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, β€œWho is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon.

The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, β€œJust because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”

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What would’ve been a better name for the lion instead of King of the Jungle?


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What do a lion and a computer have in common?

They both have mega bites.

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What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion?


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Why don’t circus lions eat the clowns?

Because they taste funny.

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Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?

He wanted a well-balanced meal.

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Koala: β€œWhat do you mean, I’m not a bear? I have all the koalafications.”

Elephant: β€œYour koalafications are completely irrelephant.”

Lion: β€œDon’t listen to him! He’s lion!”

Bear: β€œThis arguing is becoming unbearable!”

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I have the eyes of a hawk, the heart of a lion, the ears of a fox.

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

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Why did the barber keep agreeing to shave the lion’s fur even though it was dangerous?

It was his mane source of income.

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You’re riding a horse full speed, there’s a giraffe beside you, and you’re being chased by a lion. What do you do?

Get your drunk ass off the carousel!

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