Library Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Library Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Library Jokes


Why did Uranus get kicked out of the library?

It was talking too much gas-babble.

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A man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian stares at him for a while, then asks, β€œWho’s gonna bring it back?”

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My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library.

I said it’s for shelf-defense.

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Once I got kicked out of a library for being a mime.

Because actions speak louder than words.

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I wrote a novel about religious women.

The library put it in the nun fiction section.

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A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia.

The librarian says, β€œThey’re right behind you!”

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Why did the Gen Z’er bring a ladder to the library?

To reach the highest shelf for the perfect Instagram shot.

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A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, β€œExcuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?”

The Harvard student replies, β€œAt Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition.”

The kid said, β€œSorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?”

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A blonde enters a library.

She goes to the counter and says, β€œI’ll like a cheeseburger, fries and a cola.”

The librarian says, β€œMa’am this is a library.”

So the blonde leans in and whispers, β€œI’d like a cheeseburger, fries and a cola.”

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