Karen Jokes

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Karen Jokes

A Karen boards the plane for her trip to Paris. She decides to take a seat in first class even though her ticket is in economy.

The first flight attendant politely asks her to transfer to her seat in coach.

The Karen smugly replies, β€œI am travelling to Paris, and I will sit wherever I please.”

The second flight attendant approaches her sternly and demands that she move to coach to take her proper seat.

The Karen responds by shouting loudly, β€œI am going to Paris, and I will sit wherever I damn well please!”

The most senior flight attendant then approaches the Karen, bends down and whispers something in her ear.

The Karen immediately jumps up and shouts, β€œWell, why didn’t you say so sooner?!” and storms off to her seat in coach.

Surprised, the first flight attendant asked what he whispered, to which the senior flight attendant replies, β€œWe’ve just checked, and someone is sitting in your economy seat.”

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Karen walks up to a stable in Bethlehem and screams, β€œI demand do speak to your manger!”

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Two Karens are out for lunch.

The waiter approaches them and asks, β€œIs anything OK?”

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How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. She calls the emergency number and demands that a police officer come and do something about the intimidating blackness.

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A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, β€œMy dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket.”

β€œVery good,” said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, β€œWe are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

β€œVery good,” said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far.

Next it was Barney’s turn to tell his story, β€œMy dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.”

β€œGo on,” said the teacher, intrigued.

β€œAunt Karen drank the whisky on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.”

β€œGood heavens,” said the horrified teacher, β€œWhat did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?”

β€œStay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking.”

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