Enjoy our team's carefully selected Italy Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call an Italian mosquito?
Malario.
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A couple just had their first son.
The husband is half Irish and half Indian, the wife is half Chinese and half Italian. That’s a lot of heritage to inherit.
They talk about it and they discover they both wish to have their son named after THEIR heritage.
A terrible argument ensues, causing both of them a lot of anguish.
After a few days, they finally came to a decision that made both of them happy. They decided on the name: Ravi O’Lee.
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What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
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I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
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A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling.
It’s a gnocchia.
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Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
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At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
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What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
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Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One had a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding the Star of David.
Many people went by, looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope came by. He stopped to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who held the Cross while none gave to the beggar holding the Star of David. He felt sorry for him.
Finally, the Pope approached the beggar with the Star of David and said. “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite!”
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, turned to the beggar with the Cross, and said. “Moishe, would you look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing?”
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At St. Peter’s Catholic Church, they have weekly husbands’ marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, “Wella, I’va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!”
The priest responded, “Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?”
Giuseppe proudly replied, “I gonna go picka her up.”
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The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy.
So it’s italicized!
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Why don’t they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
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Chuck Norris speaks English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
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Why is having a BBQ not popular in Italy?
Spaghetti keep falling through the grill.
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Three archaeologists met in a seminar.
The British said, “We dug very deep and found sculpted animal bones. This proves that my ancestors invented art.”
The German said, “We dug very deep and found a plate-size disk showing the solar system. This proves that my ancestors invented astronomy.”
The Italian said, “We dug very deep and didn’t find any wires. This proves that my ancestors invented Wi-Fi communication.”
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At the request of my wife, I have placed an order for a box of ants to be shipped from Italy.
She said we need more Rome ants in our relationship.
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What is a seafood an Italian would love to have?
A moray.
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What do Italian ghosts have for dinner?
Spook-hetti!
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Do not be racist, be like Mario.
He’s an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
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