Intelligence Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Intelligence Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Intelligence Jokes

Five Scotsmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, β€œIt is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four.”

β€œQuattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Scotsmen retort in disbelief. β€œLook at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons.”

β€œYou cannot pull that one on me,” replies Paddy. β€œQuattro means four. You have five people in your car, and you are therefore breaking the law.”

The Scotsmen reply angrily, β€œYou idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”

β€œSorry,” responds Paddy, β€œMurphy is busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno.”

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Why are artificial intelligences in movies always female?

Because they’re never wrong.

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What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

Artificial intelligence.

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A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man.

I guess that puts women in third.

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My boss calls me β€œComputer”, but it has nothing to do with my intelligence.

I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

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One alien says to another, β€œThe dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”

The second alien replies, β€œAre they an emerging intelligence?”

The first alien says, β€œI don’t think so, they have them aimed at themselves.”

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