Insurance Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Insurance Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Insurance Jokes

Why don’t women in Arabic countries need car insurance?

Because they are already covered.

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I asked my aging father why he doesn’t have life insurance.

β€œBecause, son, I want you to be truly sad when I die.”

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I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”

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My boss said to me, β€œYou must be crazy! How can you issue a life insurance policy to a 108-year-old man?”

I said, β€œAs you told me, I applied all the proper, stringent statistical tests. Not a single 108-year-old man has died in the last five years.”

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An insurance agent visited his local museum and accidentally knocked over a statue.

The museum curator said to him, β€œThat’s a six hundred year old statue that you’ve broken!”

The insurance agent replied, β€œThank God for that! I thought it was a new one.”

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What do an insurance policy and a woman have in common?

They are both expensive, difficult to understand, and what you get is not guaranteed.

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A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.

The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital.

A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms and a pen.

She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

β€œDo you have health insurance?” she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, β€œNo health insurance.”

The nun asked, β€œDo you have money in the bank?”

He replied, β€œNo money in the bank.”

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun.

He said, β€œI only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.”

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, β€œNuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”

The patient replied, β€œPerfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

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Chuck Norris doesn’t buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.

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Your mama so fat she gets group insurance!

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