Funny Insults
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Insult Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom!
π π π
Your head is so big, when you try to tie your shoes, you flip over.
π π π
Yo head is so big if it were a bowling ball, score a strike every time.
π π π
Yo head is so big, if I shot a basket with yo head it would get stuck in the rim.
π π π
Your head is so big that the rest of your body will never get a tan.
π π π
Your head is so big, the airlines charge you an extra $25 to bring it aboard.
π π π
Your head is so big that you need to be careful to stay away from needles and pins, so it doesnβt pop.
π π π
Wow, you must have extremely strong shoulders...
To hold that absolute mega-size head up.
π π π
Your head is so big that you got booted from the stadium for blocking the skybox views.
π π π
As a child, a lot of kids would shove things up their noses.
Did you use a bowling ball that they never got out again?
π π π
Your head is so big that when it rains, your body never gets wet.
π π π
Your forehead is so big, youβll never have enough hair for bangs.
π π π
Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself.
π π π
I bet itβs cool, you can change the TV channels with your mind.
π π π
At least youβll never go broke...
You can always rent out parking spots on your forehead.
π π π
With a forehead like yours, Dora would get lost exploring it.
π π π
The good news is that you could make a lot of money by selling billboard space on your forehead.
π π π
I wasnβt staring at you...
I was trying to figure out if thatβs your forehead or the moon.
π π π
Your forehead is so big you use an extra mattress as a pillow.
π π π
Your forehead is so big that if Michelangelo ever started painting frescoes on your forehead, it would take him four years to complete it.
π π π
Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic.
π π π
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
π π π
Your forehead is so big your entire face is on your chin.
π π π
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
π π π
Your forehead is so big, it gets home before you do.
π π π
Yo mamaβs ears are so big she can hear what Iβm thinking.
π π π
Yo mamaβs ears are so big she can hear sign language.
π π π
Your ears are so big you donβt need a parachute when you go base jumping.
π π π
Your ears are so big you use shower heads as earbuds.
π π π
Your ears are so big you donβt need an alarm clock.
You can hear the sun come up in the morning.
π π π
Why do retirees smile all the time?
Because they canβt hear a word youβre saying!
π π π
I heard an uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like 40$.
π π π
When I saw your hairline I thought you worked at McDonaldβs.
π π π
Yo hairline is so bad when you look in the mirror yo hairline looks like an endangered specie.
π π π
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
π π π
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
π π π
What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
There have been sightings of UFOs.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat she carries her pet Bantha in her purse.
π π π
Yo mommaβs cooking is so bad Jabba wouldnβt feed it to Salacious Crumb.
π π π
Yo mamma is so ugly that not even Ewoks will let her into their clan.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat she dribbled the Death Star.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so old she changed Yodaβs first diaper.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so ugly they push her face in the dough to make Ugnaught cookies.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat Yoda couldnβt use the Force to move her.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat she could put Coruscant out of orbit.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so hairy that she gets mistaken for Chewbaccaβs cousin.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so dumb she thought a lightsaber has fewer calories!
π π π
Yo momma is so fat you have to make two lightspeed jumps just to get on her good side.
π π π
Yo mamaβs back is so hairy it looks like sheβs giving Chewbacca a piggyback ride.
π π π
Yo mama so fat that they covered her and used her as a death star.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so big when she tripped in Mos Eisley she landed in Mos Espa.
π π π
Yo mama so fat that the Sarlaac Pit couldnβt eat her!
π π π
Yo momma so fat when she farts scientists on Tatooine think the star around Coruscant just went supernova.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so stupid Kylo Ren couldnβt force read her mind!
π π π
Yo mommaβs so hairy she looks like she has two Ewoks in a headlock.
π π π
Yo mama is so old she trained Yadaβs master in the force!
π π π
Yo momma is so fat she makes Jabba look like Calista Flockhart.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so hairy that people run up to her and say βChewbacca, can I get your autograph?β.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so ugly she makes a Gammorrean seem like an attractive date.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid Jar Jar questioned her existence!
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that Gardulla the Hutt had a boost in self-esteem after seeing her.
π π π
Yo mama so fat she pooped out the Death Star!
π π π
Yo mammaβs so fat that the Sarlacc rejected her as dinner.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that even the Death Star couldnβt blow her up!
π π π
Yo mamaβs so ugly that they didnβt give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
π π π
Yo mama is so fat she did the Kessel run instantly because she is on both sides of it.
π π π
Yo mama is so tall the Kaminoans had to look up to see her face.
π π π
Yo mama so fat and ugly she didnβt need a suit to play Jamba the Hutt.
π π π
Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip it looks like Ewoks having a party when she talks.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so hairy when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said βITβS CHEWBACCA!β.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that carbonite was encased in her.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat she uses Kamonians as toothpicks.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat and full of bush the Wookiees named their planet after her!
π π π
Yo mamaβs so dumb she thought that Jar Jar comes with pickles pickles.
π π π
Yo mammaβs so fat she canβt go to a spaceport because x-wings keep trying to land on her back.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that only half her body was able to come out frozen from the carbon freezing chamber in Cloud City.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so dumb she wasnβt looking for the droids in the first place!
π π π
Yo mammaβs so ugly Rancors look at her and go βDamn, dude, sheβs UGLY!β.
π π π
Yo mama so fat Obi-Wan Kenobi said βThatβs no moonβthatβs Yo mama!β.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so black when she turned to the dark side the Sith became Jedis.
π π π
Yo mammaβs so fat I saw her using a Star Destroyer as an ironing board.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so flatulent that she forced the Mustafarians to wear masks!
π π π
Yo mamaβs so weak-minded that I got her to lead me to Jabba without using a Jedi mind trick!
π π π
Yo mammaβs so stupid she thought Darth Maul was a place to shop.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that even stormtroopers canβt miss her.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat when Vader cut off her hand gravy would have come out had it not been cauterized by the lightsaber.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so hairy that when she was born she looked like Chewbacca!
π π π
Yo mamaβs so ugly that Wuher said βWe donβt serve your kind hereβ.
π π π
Yo moma is so fat Luke Skywalker that yo moma was the Death Star.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so stupid that she thinks Jar Jar is filled with Peanut Butter Peanut Butter!
π π π
Yo mamma is so stupid she thought a red lightsaber was a red chili and ate it.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat Jabba the Hutt said βHargh!β.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so flatulent that she forced the sand people out of a single file.
π π π
Yo momma so ugly she makes even The Rancor cry.
π π π
Yo mammaβs so ugly they cut her Cantina scenes in Star Wars.
π π π
Yo mama so fat she played basketball with the Death Star.
π π π
Yo momβs so fat Luke couldnβt believe she wasnβt a moon!
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat the Millenium Falcon can hide in her belly button.
π π π
Yo mama so fat that Wedge Antilles said βLook at the size of that thing!β.
π π π
Yo mamma so hairy that Han Solo mistaken her for Chewbackaο»Ώ.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that she looks like Jabba the Hut before picture.
π π π
Yo momma so stupid she thought parsec was a unit of time.
π π π
Yo momma is so dumb she makes Gungans look smart.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid she went to Bangkok to get a TIE fighter!
π π π
Yo mama so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that the Kaminoans couldnβt use her as a host for clones since they couldnβt pierce her skin deep enough to draw blood.
π π π
Yo momma so black she makes Lando Calrissian look like Casper.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that even the Death Star orbited her before Endor.
π π π
Yo mammaβs so fat I thought sheβd have Princess Leia on a leash beside her.
π π π
Yo momma so fat she prevents ships from going to hyperspace.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat her durasteel armor has stretch marks!
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that people on the Millenium Falcon keep saying βThatβs no moonβ.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that she caused Kamino to flood when her water broke.
π π π
Yo mommaβs so smelly it would make a Hutt smell good.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that if she was thrown into the second Death Starβs reactor core, she could have blown up the entire Imperial fleet.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Star Wars was a war for stars.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat she blew up the Deathstar.
π π π
Yo momma so dumb Jar Jar has a higher IQ than her.
π π π
Yo momma is so smelly even Banthas want to run away from her as fast as possible.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that the passengers of the Millenium Falcon mistook her for a small moon.
π π π
Yo momma so dumb she picked Jar Jar as her ambassador.
π π π
Yo momma is so fat The Whole Death Star can use her as a protection shield.
π π π
I may be short, but short people can wear heels, ugly just canβt be fixed.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short she sat on a coin and her feet didnβt touch the ground.
π π π
Your mama is so short she doesnβt roll dice she pushes them.
π π π
Your mama so short she gotta use an elevator to go up each step.
π π π
Your mommaβs hair is so short she curls the hair with a grain of rice.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she makes Gary Coleman look like Shaquille OβNeal.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she has to look up to look down.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she does pull-ups on a staple.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she can play handball on the curb.
π π π
Your mama so short she sleeps in a mini house.
π π π
Your mama so short she needs a ladder to touch the ground.
π π π
Your mommaβs so short she can bungee-jump off a curb!
π π π
Your momma so short she is the original Q-tip.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short you can make a life-size sculpture of her using one can of Play-Doh.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that when she sneezes she hits her head on the floor.
π π π
Your mama is so short she has to cuff her underwear.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she can run track around the toilet!
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that when I was dissinβ her she tried to jump kick me in the ankle.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that she can limbo under the door.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that her homies are the Keebler Elves.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short during the election Donald Trump accidentally stepped on her and he thought he stepped on a brownieο»Ώ.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short that when she sat on the curb her feet didnβt touch the ground.
π π π
Your mamaβs so short she does backflips under the bed.
π π π
Your mama so short she went under Trumpβs wallο»Ώ.
π π π
Your mama so short she doesnβt need the door cause she can get through the mouse hole.
π π π
Your mama so short when she got in the car she couldnβt reach the steering wheel.
π π π
Your mama so short she thought the cracks in the sidewalk were part of a maze.
π π π
Your mama so short she committed suicide by jumping off the curb.
π π π
Your mama is so small she hangs glides on a Doritos!
π π π
Your mama so short you can see her feet on her driverβs license.
π π π
Yo mama so poor when I stepped on a cigarette to put it out she said βHey, who turned off the heat?β
π π π
Yo mama so tall even Titans can look up her skirt.
π π π
Yo mama so poor she waves around a Popsicle and calls it air conditioning.
π π π
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
π π π
Yo mama so poor she chases after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
π π π
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot took her picture.
π π π
Yo mama so hairy she found herself in a cage at the zoo.
π π π
Yo mama so tall she tripped in America and landed in Australia.
π π π
Yo mama so hairy when she auditioned for Planet of the Apes they made her pack leader.
π π π
Yo mama so hairy people wonder why she wears a fur coat to a nude beach.
π π π
Yo mama so dumb she thought Nickelback was a refund.
π π π
Yo mama so dumb she uses Old Spice body wash to cook.
π π π
Yo mama so dumb she thought Call of Duty was a game about pooping.
π π π
Yo mama so dumb when she got locked in a grocery store she starved to death.
π π π
Yo mama so dumb her IQ is lower than Jeffy the Puppet.
π π π
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says βExpiredβ.
π π π
Yo mama so old her breast milk is powder.
π π π
Yo mama so old her first Christmas was The First Christmas.
π π π
Yo mama so old her first cruise was on Noahβs Ark.
π π π
Yo mama so old her first pet was from Jurassic Park.
π π π
Yo mama so old not even the time stone could make her young.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the McDonaldβs drive-through sign she drove through the building.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid the zombies walked past her because they didnβt smell any brains.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid she put her phone in airplane mode and thought she could fly.
π π π
Yo mama so tall when she did a backflip she digs God in the face.
π π π
Yo mama so ugly when she watches TV the channels change themselves.
π π π
Yo mama so ugly Freddy and his friends hide from her.
π π π
Yo mama so ugly Forever Alone Guy denied her friend request.
π π π
Yo mama so ugly the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.
π π π
Yo mama so fat Rick and Morty thought her belly button was a portal to another dimension.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when I saw her on Tinder, swiped left and she was still on the screen.
π π π
Yo mama so fat NASA thought she was a planet.
π π π
Yo mama so fat her belt is the equator.
π π π
Yo mama so fat every time she took a step it caused an earthquake.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she ate an Avocado it was Nickado.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she went to In-N-Out she couldnβt get in nor out.
π π π
Yo mama so fat Naruto couldnβt make enough shadow clones to surround her.
π π π
Yo mama so fat her splash attack does damage.
π π π
Yo mama so fat every time she turns around itβs her birthday.
π π π
Yo mama so fat Donald Trump used her as the border wall.
π π π
Yo mama so fat she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she sat on the iPod she made the iPad!
π π π
Yo mama so fat she wears two watches.
One for each time zone sheβs in.
π π π
Yo mama so fat Darth Vader couldnβt even force choke her.
π π π
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
π π π
Yo mama so fat her blood type is Nutella.
π π π
Yo mama so fat she fed an entire zombie apocalypse.
π π π
Yo mama so fat Cupidβs arrows couldnβt pierce her.
π π π
Yo mama so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she wears her yellow raincoat people yell out βtaxi!β.
π π π
Yo mama so fat her school pictures were taken by a satellite.
π π π
Yo mama so fat she uses the highway as a slip and slide.
π π π
Yo mama so fat not even Superman can lift her.
π π π
Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and itβs still printing.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she lands in Fortnite she gets a Victory Royale.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so stupid she thought Fortnite was fork night.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat she crashed the Fortnite servers.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat not even a ninja could carry her in a Fortnite battle.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid she tried to smell her own nose.
π π π
Yo mommaβs nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
π π π
Yo moma so lazy she sticks her nose out the door and let the air blow it.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so stupid she combs the hair in her nose and not on her head.
π π π
Yo mamaβs nose is so big she can smell a fart coming.
π π π
Yo mamaβs nose hairs are so long that they make Bobobo jealous!
π π π
Yo mamaβs breath is so bad that when she talks her nose hairs fall out.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washingtonβs nose.
π π π
You are the only person that can smoke a cigarette in the rain with your hands tied on your back. Your nose is like a natural canopy.
π π π
You must love staying outdoors.
I hear plants make oxygen just for you.
π π π
You got the whole world in your nose. How lucky are you.
π π π
Your nose was on time, but you must have been a few minutes late.
π π π
Your nose is so big that when you sneeze... Everyone runs for cover!
π π π
Yo Mama so stupid she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
π π π
Why donβt blondes eat bananas?
They canβt find the zipper.
π π π
Yo Mama is so old sheβs got a Bible autographed by Jesus.
π π π
Why donβt men with beards need a vacuum?
Because they already have a crumb catcher on their faces.
π π π
Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
π π π
What do you call a man who falls overboard and canβt swim?
Bob.
π π π
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
π π π
What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
π π π
What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?
Claude.
π π π
What do you call a man who fixes potholes for a living?
Phil.
π π π
What do you call a lady who is hanging from a roof?
Eve.
π π π
What do you call a man who is always sitting on the toilet?
Lou.
π π π
What do you call a man who is unable to stand up?
Neal.
π π π
What do you call a man who keeps vomiting?
Chuck.
π π π
What do you call a man who is always stealing stuff?
Rob.
π π π
Why was the man with the big nose sad?
He could really smell his feet!
π π π
Your nose is so big that when you lie on your back in the pool, people think itβs a shark!
π π π
Yo mama so stupid when she threw a grenade at me, I pulled the pin and threw it back.
π π π
Your mama so stupid she put a watch in the piggy bank and said she was saving time.
π π π
Your mama so stupid she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining.
π π π
Your mama so stupid she yelled into an envelope because she wanted to send a voicemail.
π π π
Your mama so stupid I told her Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
π π π
Yo mama so small she has to wear a torn napkin as a dress.
π π π
Your mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says βDonβt spit, I canβt swimβ.
π π π
Yo mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.
π π π
Your mama so short she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
π π π
Your mama so short people thought she was a Funko Pop.
π π π
Yo mama is so hot she makes the sun sweat.
π π π
Yo mama so hot when she got into the Arctic Ocean it turned into a hot tub.
π π π
Your mama so hot when she visits Antarctica locals call it summertime.
π π π
Your mama so hot rangers banned her from National Parks for starting forest fires.
π π π
Your mama so hot her hugs give third-degree burns.
π π π
Your mama so hot scientists deemed her the leading cause of global warming.
π π π
Your mama so dumb she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's.
π π π
Your mama so dumb she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
π π π
Your mama so dumb she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
π π π
Your mama so dumb she watches βThe Three Stoogesβ and takes notes.
π π π
Your mama so dumb she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
π π π
Your mama so old she farts dust!
π π π
Your mama so old when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick!
π π π
Your mama so old when she was young, rainbows were black and white!
π π π
Your mama so old her driver's license got hieroglyphics on it!
π π π
Yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma!
π π π
Your mama so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off the cameras.
π π π
Your mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said "Sorry, no professionals".
π π π
Your mama so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
π π π
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
π π π
Your mama so fat she sat on a dollar and when she got up there were 4 quarters.
π π π
Your mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says βto be continuedβ.
π π π
Your mama so fat she gets group insurance!
π π π
Your mama so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!
π π π
Yo Mama's appetite is so huge she uses a truck to carry her popcorn to the movies.
π π π
Yo Mama's so disgusting she keeps maggots as pets.
π π π
Yo momma's arm-pits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
π π π
Your mama's got a leather wig with suede sideburns.
π π π
You so dumb you have to stop during track workouts to ask for directions.
π π π
You so dumb you once tried to exchange a bib number because you thought the whole thing was printed upside down.
π π π
Yo daddy is so stupid that he got locked in a grocery store and starved!
π π π
Yo mama so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
π π π
Yo mama is so dumb and hungry the only letters in the alphabet she knows are K.F.C.
π π π
Your mama is so dumb when dad said itβs chilly outside she brought a spoon and a bowl.
π π π
Yo momma so dumb when yβall were driving to Disneyland she saw a sign that said βDisneyland leftβ so she went home.
π π π
Yo momma is so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
π π π
Yo mama so old she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
π π π
Yo momma is so old I slapped her in the back and her boobs fell off.
π π π
Yo momma so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
π π π
Yo Mama is so old Adam and Eve were at her graduation ceremony.
π π π
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was just a prince.
π π π
Yo mama is so ugly that most Snapchat filters make her better looking.
π π π
Yo mama so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
π π π
Your mama is so ugly she made One Direction go in another direction.
π π π
Your momma so ugly when she looks in the mirror the reflection ducks!
π π π
Yo momma is so ugly she made an onion cry.
π π π
Yo momma is so stupid when I said βDrinks are on the houseβ she got a ladder.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so stupid she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said βconcentrateβ.
π π π
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldnβt find the βCALLβ button.
π π π
Yo Mamaβs so stupid she thinks Los Angeles is where God lives with all his angels.
π π π
Yo mama so stupid I said βKool-Aidβ and she jumped through the wall.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat when she fell I didnβt laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
π π π
Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each of her farts.
π π π
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, βI need your weight, not your phone number.β
π π π
Yo momma so fat she canβt reach her back pocket.
π π π
Yo mama so fat when she died she broke the stairway to heaven.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
π π π
Why donβt blondes call 911 when they are in an emergency?
Because they canβt find the number eleven on their phone.
π π π
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
You tell her a joke on Wednesday.
π π π