Indian Jokes



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Indian Jokes


A Native American hitchhiker was picked up by a slick city man who was driving past the reservation.

As they were driving along, the Native American noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents.

The city man replied, “It’s a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife.”

The Native American looked forward at the road, nodded his head solemnly, and said, “Good trade.”

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Did you know “Vegetarian” is a Native American word?

It means “Lousy Hunter”.

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A man and his family walk into a bar.

Inside the bar, the man’s youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating “World’s longest memory”.

The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true.

The child asks, “What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?”

The Native American states, “Eggs.”

The child states that the native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.

Years later, when the child returns with his own family, he sees the same Native American at the bar.

Walking up to the man, he states a stereotypical, “How!”

The Native American replies, “Scrambled.”

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A white man comes across a Native American who is lying on the ground with his ear pressed against the ground between two tire tracks.

“What’s going on?” the white man asks.

“White Chevy Tahoe. Four doors. License plate XPV 14785. Has a Coexist bumper sticker,” replies the Native American.

“Wow, you can tell all that from just listening to the ground?”

“No, you idiot! That’s what the asshole who hit me was driving.”

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A Native American man lived in the big city all his life.

Then one day his father dies.

When he goes home to the reserve for the funeral, the people all nominate him to be the new chief, since he was a successful businessman and his father was a good chief. He accepts.

But then that autumn, the people come to him and ask him if it will be a cold winter that year.

The man has no idea, since he was raised in the city all his life and doesn’t know any of the people’s traditional teachings.

So to be on the safe side, he says, “Yes. Better start gathering firewood.”

So they do.

Later that week, he decides to call up the national weather service and ask them what the forecast is for that winter.

They say, “Apparently, it’s going to be pretty cold this year.”

So he orders his people to gather twice as much firewood.

The next week, he calls the weather service again to ask if there are any updates on the forecast.

They say “Yes! Apparently, it’s going to be even colder than we previously thought.”

So the chief tells his people to gather three times the firewood they normally would.

He calls the weather service one more time, and the man tells him it’s probably going to be the coldest winter in history.

The chief asks how they know that.

And the man tells him, “I have no idea, but the Indians down at the local reserve have been gathering firewood like mad!”

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