Enjoy our team's carefully selected Hot Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
The new Ford F-150 comes with a heated tailgate.
That way you can keep your hands warm when you’re pushing it home in the winter!
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My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, “My door is always open!”
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What happened after the mom purchased a loaf of bread from Albertsons?
By the time she got home it was toast!
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After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix-up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle’s was cold.
The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned.
He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.
His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher’s wife whose even older husband had died only the day before.
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead.
Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:
Dearest wife,
Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.
Your loving husband.
PS. Things are not as we thought. You’re going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.
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A married couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
They celebrate it in the same hotel as where they spent their honeymoon 50 years ago.
The next morning at breakfast the man says to his wife, “Isn’t it unbelievable that we have been together for 50 years?”
The wife replies saying, “Yes it is, we are even sitting at the same table as we did 50 years ago, only back then we were sitting here naked,” with a naughty voice.
Both don’t doubt for a moment an they take off their clothes. They sit back down on the table giggling.
The wife says, “You know honey, even my nipples are just as hot as 50 years ago.”
“No wonder,” the man replies, “one of them is hanging in your tea and the other one in your soup!”
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Yo mama is so hot, she makes the sun sweat.
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Yo mama so hot, when she got into the Arctic ocean, it turned into a hot tub.
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Your mama so hot, when she visits Antarctica, locals call it summertime.
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Your mama so hot, rangers banned her from National Parks for starting forest fires.
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Your mama so hot, her hugs give third-degree burns.
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Your mama so hot, scientists deemed her the leading cause of global warming.
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A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.
The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.”
The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.”
Then the blonde says, “I brought a car door.”
The other girls ask, “Why did you bring that?”
The blonde says, “So I can roll down the window if it gets hot.”
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Two dragons walk into a bar.
The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”
His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”
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Yo momma so hot, doctors say her blood type is lava.
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Your mama so hot, when Electra and Haspiel saw her, they burned to death.
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Your mama is so hot, I gotta wear oven mitts to touch her.
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Yo mama so hot, she makes jalapeños cry.
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Yo mama is so hot, she makes the sun look like Antarctica.
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