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Horse Puns and Hilarious Horse Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Horse Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



A blonde buys two horses and she can’t tell them apart.

So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off.

So she does. But then the other horse’s tail gets caught in a bush and rips off.

So she can’t tell them apart again.

She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears.

So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence. She is still confused.

She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.

She comes back and says, β€œThe white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles.

Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, β€œHey.”

The horse said, β€œNah, just beer please. I just ate.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asked him, β€œWhy the long face?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet.

β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks.

The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œHorsp.”

β€œHorsp, who?”

Did you just say β€œhorse poo?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the owner name his racehorse β€œBad News”?

Because bad news travels fast.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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