Hell Jokes

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Hell Jokes

Where do bad beavers go?

They’re dammed to hell.

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A skilled nurse died and arrived before St. Peter, who explained, β€œWe have this little policy of allowing you to choose whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell.”

β€œHow do I know which to choose?” she asked.

β€œThat’s easy,” said St. Peter. β€œYou have to spend a day in each place before making a decision.”

With that, he put the nurse on an elevator and sent her down to hell.

The elevator doors opened, and the nurse found herself in a sunny garden, where many former friends and colleagues warmly greeted her.

She had a great time all day laughing and talking about old times.

That night, she had an excellent supper in a fantastic restaurant.

She even met the devil, who turned out to be a pretty nice guy.

Before she knew it, her day in hell was over, and she returned to heaven.

The day in heaven was OK. She lounged around on clouds, sang, and played the harp.

At the end of the day, St. Peter came and asked for her decision.

β€œWell, heaven was great and all,” the nurse said, β€œbut I had a better time in hell. I know it sounds strange, but I choose hell.”

With that, she got in the elevator and went back down.

When the doors opened, she saw a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.

Her friends, dressed in rags, were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks.

When the devil walked over, she said to him, β€œI don’t understand. Yesterday, this place was beautiful. We had a delicious meal and a wonderful time laughing and talking.”

The devil smiled and said, β€œYesterday we were recruiting you. Today you’re staff.”

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A blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.

That was berry rude of him.

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How do you make holy water?

By boiling the hell out of it.

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Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?

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What happens when you go to the beach in hell?

You get a SaTan.

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If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it?

Raisin hell!

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A gamer dies and goes to hell.

After a week, the devil goes to God, β€œGod! What crazy person have you sent me here? He destroyed all the cauldrons, killed all demons, is running like crazy everywhere and yelling β€˜Where is the exit to LEVEL 2?!’.”

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It’s so hot that Satan went back to hell to cool down.

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Priest: β€œDon’t drink too much liquor. You will go to hell.”

Alcoholic: β€œReally? What about the guy who sells the liquor?”

Priest: β€œHe will also go to hell.”

Alcoholic: β€œOK, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and puts them out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?”

Priest: β€œShe too will go to hell.”

Alcoholic: β€œIn that case, I have no problem going to hell.”

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