Enjoy our team's carefully selected Height Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Co-pilot: “Why did you become a pilot?”
Pilot: “To overcome my greatest fear.”
Co-pilot: “Heights?”
Pilot: “No, dying alone.”
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When Andrew Waugh was surveying Mt Everest in 1856, he came up with a height of exactly 29,000 ft. Fearing people would think that was just an imprecise estimation, he reported it as 29,002 ft.
Because of this, some say he was the first to place two feet on the summit of Everest.
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A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
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What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights?
A chicken.
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I have a friend who does maintenance work on television transmitter towers, some of which are more than 1000’ in height. He doesn’t always wear a safety harness when climbing.
I don’t think he grasps the gravity of the situation.
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Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole,” said Bubba, “but we don’t have a ladder.”
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches,” and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed, “Ain’t that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!”
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