Healthy Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Healthy Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Healthy Jokes

My non-vegetarian friend told me to eat chicken, it’s very healthy.

I said no, it WAS healthy, but you ate it.

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In their small village, a couple was famous for the husband being 102 years old and his wife being 98 years old, and both in terrific condition, working their farm every day and having the bodies of much younger people.

One day, a visitor to the village, curious about the couple, approached the old man at his farm. The old man was cutting wood without a shirt on, sweat glistening on a body that seemed to belong to a man half his age.

The visitor introduced himself and asked the old man, β€œI hear you are 102!”

β€œThat’s correct,” said the old man with a smile.

β€œWow, I must say, you look in amazing shape!”

β€œThank you,” said the old man humbly.

β€œDo you mind if I ask...”

β€œHow am I this healthy at my age?” finished the old man. β€œHelp me carry this wood back home, and I’ll tell you.”

The visitor agrees and they make their way inside.

β€œYou see,” said the old man, β€œI’ve been married for 75 years. Now, when we got married, I made a little arrangement with the wife. Every time we have an argument, the loser of said argument must run for 5 kilometers. Seeing as we have a pretty typical marriage, I’ve been running 5 kilometers almost every day for 75 years! That’s why I’m in the great shape I am.”

β€œBut if that’s the case,” said the puzzled visitor, β€œhow come your wife is in such great shape too?”

β€œWell,” smiled the old man, β€œshe usually runs after me to make sure I finish the whole five.”

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How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!

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What makes nuts healthy?

They have many nut-rients.

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1. Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard & Visa.

2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.

3. Save water. Drink beer.

4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick.

5. Books are holy. So don’t touch them.

6. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

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How do zombies eat healthier?

They switch to vegetarians.

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My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he’s much older than me, he has healthier teeth.

I said it must be because he has a better dentist.

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How can you justify donuts being healthy?

Because they are included in the hole food category.

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A person at the store asked me if doughnuts are healthy.

I don’t know, but I never met a sick one in my entire life.

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What’s the healthiest part of a donut?

The middle.

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