Enjoy our team's carefully selected Head Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a dumb carnivore?
A meathead.
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What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
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You know you’re 50 when you now have more hair on your knuckles than you do on your head.
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Mosquito bites nowadays can cause concussion.
Yesterday, one of them bit my friend in his head, but fortunately I was able to kill it with a shovel.
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Why do llamas have such long necks?
To make sure their heads stay on.
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What do you call a llama with his head underwater?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
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Every time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short person is smiling.
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I’m balding and that makes me sad. But thanks to the miracle of science...
I take antidepressants and now I’m never sad!
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“All the kids make fun of me,” the boy cried to his mother, “They say I have a big head.”
“Don’t listen to them,” his mother comforted him, “You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.”
Boy: “Where’s the shopping bag?”
Mother: “I haven’t got one, use your hat.”
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Your head is so big, when you try to tie your shoes, you flip over.
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Yo head is so big if it were a bowling ball, score a strike every time.
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Yo head is so big, if I shot a basket with yo head it would get stuck in the rim.
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Your head is so big that the rest of your body will never get a tan.
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Your head is so big, the airlines charge you an extra $25 to bring it aboard.
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Your head is so big that you need to be careful to stay away from needles and pins, so it doesn’t pop.
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Wow, you must have extremely strong shoulders...
To hold that absolute mega-size head up.
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Your head is so big that you got booted from the stadium for blocking the skybox views.
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As a child, a lot of kids would shove things up their noses.
Did you use a bowling ball that they never got out again?
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Your head is so big that when it rains, your body never gets wet.
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What did the girl say to Bald Bill when they were engaged?
She said, “God was generous to you. He gave you a lovely face and room for one more.”
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What is the funniest thing you can say to a bald man?
“You are so bald that I can simply rub your head and start predicting futures!”
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You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
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What did the balding guy and teenager growing a beard have in common?
For them, every hair counts!
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I first realized I was going bald when it started taking longer and longer for me to wash my face.
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A balding man was getting a haircut.
The man’s barber said, “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a thinker.”
Man: “Oh?!”
Barber: “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a lover.”
The man perked up.
Man: “What do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”
Barber: “That you only think you’re a lover.”
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What is one of the major advantages of being a bald person?
No matter what happens they can never be to blame for hair on the food!
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