Halloween Dad Jokes: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Halloween Dad Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Halloween Dad Jokes


What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck.

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Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?

Because all they draw is blood.

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Had an encounter with a dyslexic witch.

I am safe because she couldn’t spell.

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How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it’s a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

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Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?

Because it’s invisible.

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What is a vampire’s worst fear?

Tooth decay.

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Why is the woman afraid of the vampire?

Because he is all bite and no bark.

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Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?

Because they have spirit.

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Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon?

He needed to change.

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Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?

Because they just had their brains scooped out!

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Why didn’t the zombie go to school?

He felt rotten!

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Wanna know why skeletons are so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

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The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.

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What did one ghost say to the other?

Get a life!

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What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?

Lazy bones.

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Why don’t people like Dracula?

He’s a pain in the neck.

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Why did the skeleton run away?

Because a dog was after his bones.

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What do dentists hand out at Halloween?

Candy. It’s good for business.

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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

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Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?

Because they’re not whenwolves.

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How did the pumpkin feel after being carved?

Gutted.

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What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?

β€œAre you feeling ill?”

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What does for call the moon after a bat flies into it?

A blood moon!

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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.

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What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you’re a mouse.

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