Enjoy our team's carefully selected Hair Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley’s head.
“How you like it?” asked the barber.
“Real fine,” said the redneck. “But how about making it a little longer in the back?”
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The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you.
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You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
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I first realized I was going bald when it started taking longer and longer for me to wash my face.
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Yo’ mama is so ugly, her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
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An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”
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A balding man was getting a haircut.
The man’s barber said, “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a thinker.”
Man: “Oh?!”
Barber: “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a lover.”
The man perked up.
Man: “What do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”
Barber: “That you only think you’re a lover.”
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What is one of the major advantages of being a bald person?
No matter what happens they can never be to blame for hair on the food!
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I saw a ghost at the hair salon. Can you guess what she was doing?
Getting a scare-cut!
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