Graduation Jokes



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Graduation Jokes


Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.

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Dear Father,

university i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

After receiving his son’s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear David,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

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How many university graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it may take up to seven years!

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Three college graduates—one in Math, one in Engineering, and one in Economics—sit for a job interview.

The question they’re all asked is, “What’s 2+2?”

The Math graduate goes to the whiteboard, fills it with a proof, and concludes that, “A solution exists.”

The Engineering graduate consults his addition tables, writes some calculations down, graphs his results, and says, “3. But we’ll make it 5 just to be safe.”

The Economics graduate locks the door behind him, closes the curtains over the windows, and finally whispers, “How much do you want it to be?”

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The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father’s firm.

At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father’s office and said, “Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you’ve been working on for so long!”

His father yelled, “You idiot! We’ve been living on the funding of that case for ten years!”

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In Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?

When it graduates from medical school.

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Yo Mama is so old Adam and Eve were at her graduation ceremony.

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