Goat Jokes and Puns



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Goat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Goat Jokes


Knock! Knock!

โ€œWhoโ€™s there?โ€

โ€œGoat.โ€

โ€œGoat, who?โ€

โ€œGoat on a limb and open the door.โ€

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So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck.

Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

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Whatโ€™s a mountain goatโ€™s favorite name?

Cliff.

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Two hunters are walking along in the deep of autumn, stalking a buck, when they come across a clean-cut, 10-ft diameter hole, that goes too deep to see the bottom.

โ€œA sinkhole?โ€ one hunter asks, โ€œHow deep does this go?โ€

The other shrugs.

The first hunter looks around and finds a stick,ย drops it down the ten-foot hole, and leans over trying to hear it hit the bottom of the hole.

They pause for a moment in silence, but hear nothing.

โ€œSomething heavier,โ€ they agree.

The second hunter finds a rock about the size of a softball and drops it down as well, leaning over trying to hear it.

They pause for a moment in silence, but hear nothing.

Just as the second hunter turns around, the first finds a cinder block. They nod, thinking surely this will be heavy enough to make a noise as it hits the bottom.

They both heave the cinder block down the clean-cut, ten-foot, seemingly bottomless pit. They lean over, just as before, cupping their hands around their ears.

Suddenly, a loud racket comes up from behind them. They both dodge out of the way as a brown goat sprints past them, nearly knocking them in, and dives headfirst down the hole, into the darkness below.

Shocked at this occurrence, both hunters agree to speak to the owner of the land theyโ€™d been on. They find the farmerโ€™s house and knock on her door.

When she answers, both of them attempt to explain what had happened.

โ€œWe found this ten-foot hole about a quarter mile that way,โ€ one said. โ€œItโ€™s clean-cut and we couldnโ€™t tell how deep it was. We dropped a stick and didnโ€™t hear anything, we tried a rock too and didnโ€™t hear anything either. Then this goat came barreling past us, nearly knocked us in, and dove straight down.โ€

The farmer looked puzzled.

โ€œWas it a brown goat?โ€ she asked.

The two hunters nodded, and the farmer shook her head.

โ€œThatโ€™s impossible, I had him tied to a cinder block.โ€

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Two goats are eating garbage.

The first one finds a roll of film and eats it.

When heโ€™s done, the second one asks, โ€œHow did you like the movie?โ€

The first one responds, โ€œIt was OK, but I liked the book better.โ€

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What did the fancy bearded goat order at the cafรฉ?

A goa-tea.

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What do you call a goat with a beard?

A goatee.

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Guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep all have in common?

Theyโ€™re all very stable animals.

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