Jokes About Girlfriends



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Girlfriend Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Girlfriend Jokes


My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again.

And I donโ€™t know if I should tell him.

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I think my family is racist.

I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her.

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My girlfriendโ€™s gynaecologist followed her on Instagram yesterday.

I really donโ€™t know what else he wants to see.

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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food.

Sushi left me.

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Boy: โ€œHey Beautiful, Can I have your number?โ€

Girl: โ€œNo, I have a boyfriend.โ€

Boy: โ€œBut Iโ€™m gay, can I have the number now?โ€

Girl: โ€œOh, okay! Hereโ€™s the number.โ€

Boy: โ€œThanks, Iโ€™m not really gay. Ha!โ€

Girl: โ€œThatโ€™s my boyfriendโ€™s number.โ€

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A woman goes to her boyfriendโ€™s parentsโ€™ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasnโ€™t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriendโ€™s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the womenโ€™s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, โ€œGinger!โ€

The woman thought, โ€œThis is great!โ€ and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didnโ€™t hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, โ€œDammit, Ginger!โ€

Once again the woman smiled and thought, โ€œYes!โ€

A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didnโ€™t even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, โ€œDammit, Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!โ€

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Boyfriend: โ€œDo you think my salary is sufficient for you?โ€

Girlfriend: โ€œItโ€™s sufficient for me but how will you survive?โ€

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Girl: โ€œWhat if a boy hugs me?โ€

Mom: โ€œSay โ€˜donโ€™tโ€™.โ€

Girl: โ€œWhat if he kisses me?โ€

Mom: โ€œSay โ€˜stopโ€™.โ€

The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DONโ€™T STOP!

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Friend 1: โ€œDoes she have a boyfriend?โ€

Friend 2: โ€œYes, a cute, strong and clever one.โ€

Friend 1: โ€œWhatโ€™s the name?โ€

Friend 2: โ€œJohn, Michael and Bill.โ€

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The other day my friend messaged by saying, โ€œBro I have two pieces of bad news for you.โ€

I told him to combine them.

He replied, โ€œYour girlfriend is cheating on both of us.โ€

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One time I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message.

30 seconds later I heard my uncle crying in the next room...

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My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back.

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What happens after you have a beautiful girlfriend, a million-dollar car, 100 million in your bank account, several houses and a fit body?

You wake up.

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My girlfriend has an OnlyFans account and itโ€™s doing really well.

I just have to figure out how to break the news to her.

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My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -1,... sheโ€™s imaginary.

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