Enjoy our team's carefully selected Girlfriend Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why did the influenza virus break up with its girlfriend?
She was too cold to him.
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The flu is kinda like my last girlfriend.
Lasted for 2 weeks and got it from my best friend.
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A boy calls 911, โHello? I need your help!โ
The operator says, โAlright. What is it?โ
The boy says, โTwo girls are fighting over me!โ
The operator asks, โSo, whatโs your emergency?โ
The boy says, โThe ugly one is winning.โ
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My girlfriend has a great job down at the brewery despite having only one leg.
Sheโs in charge of the hops.
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My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again.
And I donโt know if I should tell him.
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My girlfriendโs gynaecologist followed her on Instagram yesterday.
I really donโt know what else he wants to see.
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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food.
Sushi left me.
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Boy: โHey Beautiful, Can I have your number?โ
Girl: โNo, I have a boyfriend.โ
Boy: โBut Iโm gay, can I have the number now?โ
Girl: โOh, okay! Hereโs the number.โ
Boy: โThanks, Iโm not really gay. Ha!โ
Girl: โThatโs my boyfriendโs number.โ
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A woman goes to her boyfriendโs parentsโ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasnโt loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriendโs father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the womenโs feet, and said in a rather stern voice, โGinger!โ
The woman thought, โThis is great!โ and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didnโt hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, โDammit, Ginger!โ
Once again the woman smiled and thought, โYes!โ
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didnโt even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, โDammit, Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!โ
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Boyfriend: โDo you think my salary is sufficient for you?โ
Girlfriend: โItโs sufficient for me but how will you survive?โ
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Girl: โWhat if a boy hugs me?โ
Mom: โSay โdonโtโ.โ
Girl: โWhat if he kisses me?โ
Mom: โSay โstopโ.โ
The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DONโT STOP!
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Friend 1: โDoes she have a boyfriend?โ
Friend 2: โYes, a cute, strong and clever one.โ
Friend 1: โWhatโs the name?โ
Friend 2: โJohn, Michael and Bill.โ
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The other day my friend messaged by saying, โBro I have two pieces of bad news for you.โ
I told him to combine them.
He replied, โYour girlfriend is cheating on both of us.โ
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One time I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message.
30 seconds later I heard my uncle crying in the next room...
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My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
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What happens after you have a beautiful girlfriend, a million-dollar car, 100 million in your bank account, several houses and a fit body?
You wake up.
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My girlfriend has an OnlyFans account and itโs doing really well.
I just have to figure out how to break the news to her.
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My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -1,... sheโs imaginary.
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