Enjoy our team's carefully selected Girlfriend Boyfriend Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
My girlfriend was crying because she got a bad haircut.
I said, โWhy are you crying? Iโm the one that has to find a new girlfriend.โ
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One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, โDad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.โ
After dinner, Georgeโs dad took him aside, โSon, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, sheโs a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.โ
โSusan is actually your half sister, and Iโm afraid you canโt marry her.โ
George was brokenhearted.
After eight months he eventually started dating girls again.
A year later he came home and very proudly announced, โDiane said yes! Weโre getting married in June.โ
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news, โDiane is your half sister too, George. Iโm awfully sorry about this.โ
George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.
โDad has done so much harm. I guess Iโm never going to get married,โ he complained. โEvery time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister.โ
โHee hee,โ his mother chuckled, shaking her head, โDonโt pay any attention to what he says. Heโs not really your father.โ
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My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
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Never laugh at your girlfriendโs choices. Youโre one of them.
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My friend: โMy girlfriend said she wanted to eat tacos, so we flew to Mexico.โ
Me: โHey babe, what do you wanna eat?โ
Her: โNothing.โ
Me: Flies to Africa.
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My girlfriend said Iโm starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman.
What a Joker.
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I asked my girlfriend if sheโd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends.
She said, โYes!โ
I said, โGood, because Iโm breaking up with you.โ
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Why did the mushroom break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was toxic!
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A shark just ate my girlfriend during our fishing trip. Will you be my new one?
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A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate.
During his meal, his mother couldnโt help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if thereโs more between him and his roommate.
Reading his momโs thought, his son volunteered, โI know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates.โ
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, โEver since your mother came to dinner, Iโve been unable to find the silver plate. You donโt suppose your mother took it, do you?โ
He said, โWell I doubt it, but l'll email her just to be sure!โ
He sat down and wrote:
Dear mom,
After you visited me, the silver plate has been missing. Iโm not saying that you did take the silver plate from my house, and Iโm not saying that you donโt take it, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love
Your son
Several days later, he received an email from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
Iโm not saying that you do sleep with your roommate, and Iโm not saying that you donโt sleep with her, but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow.
Love
Mom
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A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit.
The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop.
The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance.
There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink.
She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
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