Gardening Puns and Hilarious Gardening Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Gardening Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Gardening Jokes


Chuck Norris doesnโ€™t mow his lawn.

He dares it to grow.

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Why do blue flowers grow so well?

They have a natural love for Azure.

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Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting.

โ€œA lemon tree, my dear Wat-son.โ€

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When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

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Whatโ€™s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel!

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What kind of socks do you need to plant broccoli?

Garden hose.

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Mrs. Jones was proud of her pumpkin patch, so she was really disappointed when some of the local kids were taking them to make Jack-o-Lanterns.

One evening while Mrs. Jones was soaking in the bath, the answer to the pumpkin thefts came to her.

After supper she went out and put up a sign: โ€œBeware, one of these pumpkins is coated with a special colorless rat poison!โ€

A day or two later when Mrs. Jones checked out her pumpkin patch she was pleased to see that no more had been stolen.

Then she saw a second sign next to hers which said: โ€œNOW THERE ARE TWO!!โ€

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Farmer Smith was driving his tractor along the road with a trailer load of fertilizer. ย 

Alexโ€”a little boy of nineโ€”was playing ball in his yard.

He saw the farmer and asked, โ€œWhatโ€™ve you got in your trailer?โ€

โ€œManure,โ€ farmer Smith replied.

โ€œWhat are you going to do with it?โ€ asked Alex.

โ€œPut it on my pumpkins,โ€ answered the farmer.

Alex replied, โ€œYou ought to come and eat with us, we put ice cream on our pumpkin pie.โ€

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I started growing fungi in my garden, but failed miserably.

I guess there is mush-room for improvement.

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Bula decides itโ€™s time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.

Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.

After a year, at the New Yearโ€™s Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.

Johnny: โ€œWell, howโ€™s the business going?โ€

Bula: โ€œBad brother, sorry about everything!โ€

Johnny: โ€œWhy?โ€

Bula: โ€œI donโ€™t have any chickens anymore!โ€

Johnny: โ€œGood god, why?โ€

Bula: โ€œIf I know, I think Iโ€™m doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or donโ€™t water them enough, but one doesnโ€™t raise the hen.โ€

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