Game Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Game Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Game Jokes

Why was the hip replacement patient alwaysย winningย atย poker?

Because they always had aย coupleย of joints up their sleeve.

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Whatโ€™s Uranusโ€™s favorite game?

Twister, itโ€™s always spinning!

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Why donโ€™t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

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How do you get a D&D player to go out with you?

You ask them for a d8.

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Some people say rolling dice for stats in D&D is old fashioned and outdated.

But I think it builds character.

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What is a DnD clericโ€™s favorite car manufacturer?

Ford, because Iโ€™ve never seen a cleric without their focus.

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A group of DnD players walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, โ€œWhatโ€™re you all in for?โ€

The group says, โ€œWeโ€™re hunting mimics.โ€

The bartender laughed, the group laughed, the table laughed.

They killed the table.

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I was invited to go play Dungeons and Dragons. I was told I needed to pick a race and a class for my character. So I picked white and middle.

Apparently thatโ€™s not how itโ€™s played, but I just think they know Iโ€™d win.

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An ant approaches an elephant and asks, โ€œWould you like to play?โ€

โ€œSure,โ€ replies the elephant.

โ€œSo, whatโ€™s your favorite game?โ€ the ant inquires.

โ€œSquash,โ€ says the elephant.

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Why do British people love playing chess?

Coz no-one can kill their Queen.

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Why was Michael Jackson bad at chess?

He couldnโ€™t decide if he was black or white.

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Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game.

The Queen doesnโ€™t wear a burkha.

The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.

The Queen is more powerful than the King.

The Queen goes alone to opponentโ€™s territory.

Most importantly, thereโ€™s only one Queen.

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Why is chess just like real life?

The king can only take a step at a time and the queen can do as she pleases.

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I bought a chessboard cake from the bakerโ€™s today.

I took one bite and said, โ€œItโ€™s stale, mate.โ€

He seemed surprised and said, โ€œNo, mate.โ€

I handed it to him and said, โ€œCheck mate.โ€

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I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park.

Itโ€™s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

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I went to lunch with a champion chess player.

It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt.

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Iโ€™ve got a new job at the chess factory.

Iโ€™m on knights next week.

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Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes, and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really suck at guac-a-mole.

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Why wasnโ€™t the young veggie allowed to start in the game?

He was a green bean.

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My best mates and I played a game of hiding and seek.

It went on for hours... Well, good friends are hard to find.

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All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek.

They decide that Fermi will be the seeker, so he closes his eyes and begins counting to 100.

All the physicists scatter, except for Newton, who calmly reaches into his pocket, takes out some chalk, and draws a square one meter on a side.

Fermi finishes counting and turns around, seeing Newton standing in his chalk square he yells, โ€œI found Newton. Newton is out!โ€

Newton protests, โ€œNo, Iโ€™m Newton in a meter squareโ€”Iโ€™m Pascal. Pascal is out!โ€

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, โ€œI ask you a question, and if you donโ€™t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.โ€

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, โ€œOkay, if you donโ€™t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I donโ€™t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.โ€

This catches the blondeโ€™s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. โ€œWhatโ€™s the distance from the earth to the moon?โ€

The blonde doesnโ€™t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

โ€œOkay,โ€ says the lawyer, โ€œyour turn.โ€

She asks the lawyer, โ€œWhat goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?โ€

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, โ€œThank you,โ€ and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, โ€œWell, whatโ€™s the answer?โ€

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

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What board game do they love to play in space?


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Guess what happened to the man who played board games all his life?

He got bored with playing games!

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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, โ€œThis is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.โ€

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, โ€œWhich do you want, son?โ€

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

โ€œWhat did I tell you?โ€, said the barber. โ€œThat kid never learns!โ€

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

โ€œHey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?โ€

The boy licked his cone and replied, โ€œBecause the day I take the dollar, the game is over!โ€

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A man hunts a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that theyโ€™ll play a game with the kids. Theyโ€™ll give them a clue and get them to guess what it is.

At mealtime, the kids are eager to know what the meat is on their plates, so they beg their dad for the clue.

โ€œWell,โ€ he says, โ€œitโ€™s what mommy calls me sometimesโ€.

The little girl screams, โ€œDonโ€™t eat it! Itโ€™s an asshole!โ€

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Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.

The cashier said, โ€œThereโ€™s no way I can take this. Itโ€™s fake.โ€

Johnny said, โ€œWell, the carโ€™s not real either.โ€

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Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.

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