Feet Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Foot Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Foot Jokes

A gun company has been criticised after bringing out a pistol covered in Lego.

The manufacturer says it’s perfectly safe, unless you step on it in bare feet.

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I’m proud to announce I have stuck to my New Year’s resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.

My feet have never looked better.

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I accidentally dropped a full two liter bottle of ginger ale onto my bare foot.

Fortunately it was a soft drink.

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Why can’t you hear a redhead’s footsteps?

Because they walk so gingerly.

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Crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet.

But most have just four.

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Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

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What can you find on avocado feet?


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The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.

A cop pulled up and said, β€œI’ve got to take you in, sir. You’re obviously drunk.”

The wasted wino asked, β€œOfficer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”

Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. β€œLet’s go.”

Obviously relieved, the wino said, β€œThat’s a relief β€” I thought I was a cripple.”

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Why did Spider-Man decide to join the swim team?

Because he had webbed feet!

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My 2 year old sister’s stinky feet were smelling like cheese.

My dad was wondering what happened, so I told him that she had chee-toes.

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A man went to the doctor and said, β€œI think I am upside down.”

When the doctor asked why he felt like that, the man said, β€œBecause my feet smell and my nose runs.”

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Why can’t your nose be 14 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

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Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

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Why was the man with the big nose sad?

He could really smell his feet!

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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

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Why don’t dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

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