Enjoy our team's carefully selected Flower Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What’s a Christian’s favorite flower?
Jesus Rose.
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I bought my wife 12 dozen red roses, but I don’t think she likes them.
She said that’s gross.
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It was a dull day, but I saw a pink colored rose.
I look at the bright seed of things.
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The rose had to inform his mom about a mishap.
He said, “I hate to be the bearer of bud news.”
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Why was the florist afraid of roses?
Quite honestly, she didn’t know where the fear stemmed from.
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What did the florist say to the customer who was trying to bargain over the price of the rose bouquet?
“Take it or leaf it bud!”
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Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors.
It’s always the first to rose and shine.
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What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
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What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
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What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses?
Tulips.
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I got my Mom a scratchcard for Mother’s Day, but I couldn’t resist scratching it off myself. And would you believe it, it was a $10,000 winner!
I’m sure she’ll like the flowers.
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What’s Harry Styles’ favorite type of flower?
Styles-oni.
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Someone keeps sending me sunflowers with the heads cut off.
Think I have a stalker.
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Why am I so hot right now?
Because there’s a sunflower near me.
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The sunflower was feeling lonely.
He said he just wanted to get some-bud-y to love.
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The sunflower didn’t look very well.
I asked if he was feeling bouquet.
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Apparently, it’s good to talk to your sunflowers.
I tried to teach my sunflowers mathematics, but they ended up with square roots.
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Why do Pokémons like to eat sunflower seeds?
Because they like to pick and chew.
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The sunflower couldn’t ride a bicycle anymore.
Its petals broke.
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I took a photo of my sunflower.
Now it can photosynthesize.
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What flower loves to be in the sun?
Sunflower.
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A farmer goes to the bank for a loan. He needs money to lay in his annual crop of peanuts. Times have been hard and he’s hopeful the bank will lend him the funds to buy seed and hopefully, he can get a good crop.
The banker apologizes and explains that, although many farmers have asked, peanuts crops have been so poor that the bank is simply unwilling to loan to anyone planning to plant peanuts. However, the banker says, the bank is willing to loan on other crops. The banker recommends sunflowers.
The farmer is devastated, but eventually agrees to give sunflowers a try. Anything to get the loan and get some seed in the ground, he says.
At harvest time, another farmer asks how the sunflowers worked out.
The farmer admits that they’ve done very well—so well that he expects to be able to pay back the bank, put money away for the winter and even, possibly, have money left over for next year’s peanuts!
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God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers.
But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
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My wife complains that I don’t buy her flowers.
To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
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“I’m sorry,” said the clerk in flower shop, “we don’t have potted geraniums... Could you use African violets instead?”
Replied the customer sadly, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”
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The wife has just phoned me to tell me that 3 women in her office have received flowers today and they are absolutely gorgeous.
I said, “That’s probably why!”
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A man gives flowers to everyone in his family.
To his wife he gives roses.
To his parents he gives orchids.
To his daughters he gives daisies.
And to his sons he gives sunflowers.
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What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
“I be-leaf in you.”
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What does the youngest flower child say?
“Last bud not least!”
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Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
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It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
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What did the alien say to the flower bed?
Take me to your weeder!
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