Fishing Puns and Hilarious Fishing Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Fishing Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Fishing Jokes


Why did the nun become an archaeologist?

She had a knack for digging up old habits.

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Why do nuns always wear black and white?

No particular reason, it’s just a habit they have.

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Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

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I try to avoid making nun jokes, but it’s a farce of habit.

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I met a nun that wiped her nose on her clothes.

She had a nasty habit.

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A man calls home to his wife and says, β€œHoney, I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, β€œYes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”

β€œI did, they’re in your tackle box.”

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Blue jeans are immortal.

They never die, they just fade away.

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I couldn’t help but feel blue when I spilled my blueberry smoothie all over my shirt.

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I went to a blues concert dressed in all black.

I guess I wasn’t feeling very blues-sympathetic.

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I went to a party once where everyone was dressed in blue.

It was like a sea of navy-tees.

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I hate it when my blue jeans fade.

They’re not feeling so blue anymore.

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What did the blue tie say to the little red dress?

β€œYou go ahead, I’ll just hang around.”

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In your 20s: dress like you’re on the catwalk!

In your 40s: dress like you walk cats.

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What do you call a Polish fisherman?

A fishing pole.

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A man was fishing in the jungle.

After a while another angler came to join him.

β€œHave you had any bites?” asked the second man.

β€œYes, lots,” replied the first one, β€œbut they were all mosquitoes.”

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Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?

On line.

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In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two live lobsters, at least three pounds, one in each hand. It was three weeks after the season closed.

Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says, β€œWell me laddie, I got you this time with two live lobsters, three weeks after the season closed!”

The Newfie says, β€œNo, my son. You are wrong! These are two trained lobsters I caught two weeks before the season ended.”

The Fisheries Officer says, β€œTrained? Like how?”

β€œWell, my son, each day I takes these two from my house, down to the wharf, and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim, I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles, and up comes me two lobsters, and I takes them home!”

β€œLikely story,” the Fisheries Officer says. β€œLet’s take them on down to the wharf and see if its true.”

So, the Newfoundlander goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both lobsters into the water.

The Newfie sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another.

After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie, β€œHow about whistling?”

The Newfoundlander says, β€œWhat for?”

The Fisheries Officer says, β€œTo call in the lobsters.”

β€œWhat lobsters?” the Newfie asks.

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A young man is passing by a bar when he sees an old woman fishing with a stick and a string in a puddle by the sidewalk. β€œShe must be a poor old fool,” he thinks to himself, and out of the kindness of his heart, he invites the woman in for a drink.

After he’s paid for their round and the two are sitting quietly, he asks her, β€œSo how many have you caught today?” The old woman grins, takes a big sip of her drink, and replies, β€œYou’re the eighth.”

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What is Spider-Man’s favorite sport?

Fly fishing.

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What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?

By live stream.

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A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road.

They thoughtfully made a sign saying β€œThe End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” and showed it to each passing car.

One driver who drove by didn’t appreciate the sign and shouted at them, β€œLeave us alone, you religious nuts!”

All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, β€œYou think maybe we should have just said β€œBridge Out” instead?”

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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.

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A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake.

After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, β€œTHERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!”

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate, and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.

The voice boomed, β€œTHERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!”

This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice.

Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, β€œTHERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!”

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, β€œIs that you, Lord?”

The voice answered, β€œNO, IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE HOCKEY RINK!”

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Roland, an Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip.

While there, Roland hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since Roland was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage.

Together they were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path.

The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and announced, β€œMira el mosca.”

The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity to teach Roland, replied, β€œNo, senor, β€œla mosca”, es feminina.”

Roland looked at him in amazement, then back at the fly, and then said, β€œGood heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight.”

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Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing?

He only had two worms.

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