Firefighter Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Firefighter Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Firefighter Jokes

A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire, so she called 911.

The blonde told the operator, “My neighbor’s house is on fire!”

The operator asked, “Where are you?”

The blonde answered, “At my house”.

The operator replied, “No, I’m asking how do we get there?”

The blonde said, “In a firetruck, duh!”

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What did the firefighter say when the church caught on fire?

“Holy smoke!”

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One day a boy went swimming in a lake. He soon got into trouble, though and was starting to drown.

Luckily, there was a firefighter by the lake who swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR.

A crowed gathered round and watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest. Water kept pouring from the boy’s mouthe ach time the firefighter pumped more water came out.

A short time later, seaweed started coming out, then minnows, then more water started coming out of the boy’s mouth. The firefighter feared this would never stop.

Just then, a paramedic arrived, quickly ran over to the firefighter and said, “Hey, Chief! You better get that kid’s butt out of the water before you pump that lake dry.”

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It’s always good to find out you’re going to be working from home.

Unless you’re a firefighter.

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My granddad always said you should fight fire with fire.

Maybe that’s why he got fired from the fire service.

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I hate those people who knock on your door and say “You need to get ‘saved’ or you’ll ‘burn’”.

Stupid firemen.

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A lawyer, a priest, and an engineer meet each week for a game of golf.

One day, they get stuck behind the slowest group of players they had ever seen. They were hitting the balls all over the place, getting stuck in just about every trap and patch of rough, and missing just about every putt.

Finally, the group gets frustrated and heads to the clubhouse to find the manager.

“What’s with that group of players? They’re the worst I’ve ever seen! They’re holding up the course!”

The manager looks sheepish, “They’re retired firefighters, they lost their eyesight running into a burning orphanage to save the children. They love golf, so I let them play for free for charity.”

The priest looks ashamed of himself, “As a man of God, I feel terrible for getting angry at those men. At my next sermon, I’ll see if I can get a collection going for their families.”

The lawyer likewise looks chagrined, “Same here, I’ll check with my firm and see if we can’t open a case to get them awarded restitution for their pain and injuries.”

The engineer says, “Why can’t they play at night?”

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