Jokes on Fat
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Fat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I just saw real, a real idiot at the gym.
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
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Since quarantine I’ve not had a haircut. Hell, I’ve not even stepped on the scales.
So today I decided to weigh myself for the first time in months.
Who knew hair weighed so much?!
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The center of a donut is 100% fat-free.
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Yo mama so fat, Rick and Morty thought her belly button was a portal to another dimension.
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Yo mama so fat, when I saw her on Tinder, swiped left and she was still on the screen.
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Yo mama so fat, NASA thought she was a planet.
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Yo mama so fat, her belt is the equator.
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Yo mama so fat, every time she took a step, it caused an earthquake.
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Yo mama so fat, when she ate an Avocado it was Nickado.
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Yo mama so fat, when she went to In-N-Out, she couldn’t get in nor out.
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Yo mama so fat, Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.
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Yo mama so fat, her splash attack does damage.
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Yo mama so fat, every time she turns around it’s her birthday.
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Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump used her as the border wall.
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Yo mama so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
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Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod, she made the iPad!
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Yo mama so fat, she wears two watches.
One for each time zone she’s in.
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Yo mama so fat, Darth Vader couldn’t even force choke her.
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Yo mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
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Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
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Yo mama so fat, she fed an entire zombie apocalypse.
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Yo mama so fat, Cupid’s arrows couldn’t pierce her.
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Yo mama so fat, the horse on her polo shirt is real.
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Yo mama so fat, when she wears her yellow raincoat, people yell out “taxi”!
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Yo mama so fat, her school pictures were taken by a satellite.
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Yo mama so fat, she uses the highway as a slip and slide.
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Yo mama so fat, not even Superman can lift her.
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Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
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Yo mama so fat, when she lands in Fortnite, she gets a Victory Royale.
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Yo mama’s so fat, she crashed the Fortnite servers.
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Yo mama’s so fat, not even a ninja could carry her in a Fortnite battle.
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Bread is like the Sun:
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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Diet day 1:
I removed all the fattening food from my house.
It was delicious.
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Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
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Yo mama so fat, she left the house in high heels and when she came back, she had on flip flops.
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Your mama so fat, she sat on a dollar and when she got up there were 4 quarters.
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Your mama so fat, when she gets on the scale it says, “to be continued.”
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Your mama so fat, she gets group insurance!
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Your mama so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!
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My wife gave birth four times and still fits in her prom dress from high school.
I gave birth 0 times and I haven’t fit in my pants since March.
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Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
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Yo mama is so fat, that the National Weather Service names each of her farts.
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Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
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Yo momma so fat, she can’t reach her back pocket.
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Yo mama so fat, when she died, she broke the stairway to heaven.
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Yo mama’s so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
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