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Jokes on Fat



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Fat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Fat Jokes


Since quarantine I’ve not had a haircut. Hell, I’ve not even stepped on the scales.

So today I decided to weigh myself for the first time in months.

Who knew hair weighed so much?!

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The center of a donut is 100% fat-free.

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Yo mama so fat, Rick and Morty thought her belly button was a portal to another dimension.

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Yo mama so fat, when I saw her on Tinder, swiped left and she was still on the screen.

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Yo mama so fat, NASA thought she was a freaking planet.

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Yo mama so fat, her belt is the equator.

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Yo mama so fat, every time she took a step, it caused an earthquake.

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Yo mama so fat, when she ate an Avocado it was Nickado.

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to In-N-Out, she couldn’t get in nor out.

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Yo mama so fat, Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.

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Yo mama so fat, her splash attack does damage.

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Yo mama so fat, every time she turns around it’s her birthday.

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Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump used her as the border wall.

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Yo mama so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

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Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod, she made the iPad!

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Yo mama so fat, she wears two watches.

One for each time zone she’s in.

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Yo mama so fat, Darth Vader couldn’t even force choke her.

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Yo mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

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Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Nutella.

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Yo mama so fat, she fed an entire zombie apocalypse.

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Yo mama so fat, Cupid’s arrows couldn’t pierce her.

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Yo mama so fat, the horse on her polo shirt is real.

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Yo mama so fat, when she wears her yellow raincoat, people yell out β€œtaxi”!

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Yo mama so fat, her school pictures were taken by a satellite.

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Yo mama so fat, she uses the highway as a slip and slide.

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Yo mama so fat, not even Superman can lift her.

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Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

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Yo mama so fat, when she lands in Fortnite, she gets a Victory Royale.

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Yo mama’s so fat, she crashed the Fortnite servers.

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yo mama’s so fat, not even ninja could carry her in a Fortnite battle.

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Bread is like the Sun:

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.

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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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Diet day 1:

I removed all the fattening food from my house.

It was delicious.

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Wife: β€œI look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”

Husband: β€œYou have perfect eyesight.”

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Yo mama so fat, she left the house in high heels and when she came back, she had on flip flops.

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Your mama so fat, she sat on a dollar and when she got up there were 4 quarters.

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Your mama so fat, when she gets on the scale it says, β€œto be continued.”

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Your mama so fat, she gets group insurance!

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Your mama so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!

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My wife gave birth four times and still fits in her prom dress from high school.

I gave birth 0 times and I haven’t fit in my pants since March.

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Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

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Yo mama is so fat, that the National Weather Service names each of her farts.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, β€œI need your weight, not your phone number.”

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Yo momma so fat, she can’t reach her back pocket.

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Yo mama so fat, when she died, she broke the stairway to heaven.

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Yo mama’s so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

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