Jokes About Exercise

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Exercise Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Exercise Jokes

In their small village, a couple was famous for the husband being 102 years old and his wife being 98 years old, and both in terrific condition, working their farm every day and having the bodies of much younger people.

One day, a visitor to the village, curious about the couple, approached the old man at his farm. The old man was cutting wood without a shirt on, sweat glistening on a body that seemed to belong to a man half his age.

The visitor introduced himself and asked the old man, β€œI hear you are 102!”

β€œThat’s correct,” said the old man with a smile.

β€œWow, I must say, you look in amazing shape!”

β€œThank you,” said the old man humbly.

β€œDo you mind if I ask...”

β€œHow am I this healthy at my age?” finished the old man. β€œHelp me carry this wood back home, and I’ll tell you.”

The visitor agrees and they make their way inside.

β€œYou see,” said the old man, β€œI’ve been married for 75 years. Now, when we got married, I made a little arrangement with the wife. Every time we have an argument, the loser of said argument must run for 5 kilometers. Seeing as we have a pretty typical marriage, I’ve been running 5 kilometers almost every day for 75 years! That’s why I’m in the great shape I am.”

β€œBut if that’s the case,” said the puzzled visitor, β€œhow come your wife is in such great shape too?”

β€œWell,” smiled the old man, β€œshe usually runs after me to make sure I finish the whole five.”

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How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!

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Yo sister so fat the only way she burns calories is when her food catches on fire.

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Yo mama so stupid she thought The Exorcist was a workout video.

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Husband to friend: β€œThe physical therapist told my wife she should do some exercise.”

Friend: β€œAnd is she doing this?”

Husband: β€œWell, she is, if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise.”

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What’s a fat ghost’s biggest fear of physical therapists?

Being exercised.

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Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary?

He was trying to learn how to define muscle.

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There’s a great new machine at my gym.

I felt sick after I’d used it for an hour, but it’s got everything: Doritos, Snickers, Mountain Dew...

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What do you call someone who’s really into stationary biking?

A cyclepath.

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I said to the gym teacher, β€œCan you teach me to do the splits?”

He said, β€œHow flexible are you?”

I said, β€œI can’t make Tuesdays.”

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I just saw real, a real idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

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I’ve been going to the gym for five years now, and I still don’t have abs.

It sucks being the cleaner.

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I go to the gym religiously.

About twice a year, around holidays.

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I’m like a ninja at the gym.

Because you’ll never see me there.

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I don’t hate leg day.

It’s the two days after I can’t stand.

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It’s been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress!

I’m going there in-person tomorrow to see what’s going on.

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While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.

People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

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I joined a gym and said to the trainer, β€œI want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, β€œTry the ATM outside.”

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A tip to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right and then to the left.

Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered something to eat.

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I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises...

Other than jumping to conclusions.

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A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag.

His trainer walked up and asked, β€œWhat gives?”

The boxer replied, β€œI’m exercising my rights.”

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How does a demon workout?

He exorcises.

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What is Spider-Man’s favorite exercise?

Spin class.

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I get plenty of exercise:

jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

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Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.

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Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them.

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What kind of exercise do lazy people do?


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