Jokes About Exercise



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Exercise Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Exercise Jokes


Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary?

He was trying to learn how to define muscle.

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There’s a great new machine at my gym.

I felt sick after I’d used it for an hour, but it’s got everything: Doritos, Snickers, Mountain Dew...

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What do you call someone who’s really into stationary biking?

A cyclepath.

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I said to the gym teacher, β€œCan you teach me to do the splits?”

He said, β€œHow flexible are you?”

I said, β€œI can’t make Tuesdays.”

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I just saw real, a real idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

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I’ve been going to the gym for five years now, and I still don’t have abs.

It sucks being the cleaner.

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I go to the gym religiously.

About twice a year, around holidays.

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I’m like a ninja at the gym.

Because you’ll never see me there.

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I don’t hate leg day.

It’s the two days after I can’t stand.

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It’s been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress!

I’m going there in-person tomorrow to see what’s going on.

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While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.

People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

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I joined a gym and said to the trainer, β€œI want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, β€œTry the ATM outside.”

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A tip to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right and then to the left.

Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered something to eat.

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I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises...

Other than jumping to conclusions.

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A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag.

His trainer walked up and asked, β€œWhat gives?”

The boxer replied, β€œI’m exercising my rights.”

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How does a demon workout?

He exorcises.

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What is Spider-Man’s favorite exercise?

Spin class.

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I get plenty of exercise:

jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

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Yo mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

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Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them.

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What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

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