Enjoy our team's carefully selected Egypt Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
Toot-and-come-in.
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Where do people in Egypt go for physical therapy?
To the Cairo-practor.
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Why did the Egyptian architect go to jail?
He was caught planning a pyramid scheme.
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Chuck Norris once played with Lego.
The result was The Great Pyramids.
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I hurt my back in Egypt.
It got so bad that I had to visit a cairopractor.
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In Cairo there is a large hole in the ground left over from a construction project that was never finished. Every day several people unexpectedly walk right into the hole and are badly injured.
By the time the ambulance arrives and brings the victims to the hospital, it is often too late to save them. To solve this dangerous predicament, those with the highest positions in the Egyptian government hold a meeting.
“What shall we do about this hole plaguing our people?” Asks the first speaker.
Everyone is hesitant to answer, but then a man raises his hand.
“It is quite an easy solution,” he exclaims. “We keep an ambulance right next to the hole, so if people fall in, they can be pulled out and brought to the hospital right away.”
The council agrees and decides to implement this new solution the following day. However, with traffic there is still not enough time to get the victims to the hospital. So they hold another meeting.
“Having an ambulance ready is still not enough to save our people, we must do more.”
A different man raises his hand and speaks, “If getting to the hospital in time is the problem, then we must build a hospital next to the hole.”
Everyone claps seeing that they’ve found the solution.
But then the urban development chair speaks in response to this proposal, “The land next to the hole is simply not big enough,” he says, and the crowd stops clapping. “It seems we are back at step 1.”
In the back of the room a man stands and says with much confidence, “I have got it! We shall bring a truck full of dirt to the site of the hole, and we will fill it up.”
The council is ecstatic clapping for the man.
“...then we dig another hole next to the hospital.”
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What did one Egyptian say to the other when they farted at the same time?
Looks like we’ve got a Tutankhamen.
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Why was the Egyptian boy confused?
Because his daddy was a mummy.
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Ancient Egyptian architect: “Do you know how to build a pyramid?”
Ancient Egyptian builder: “Well, err yeah, up to a point.”
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Did you know most Egyptian people are related to the same Pharaoh?
They have Tut-in-common.
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My girlfriend asked me, “When we go to Egypt, can we go on a camel?”
I told her, “Don’t be silly. It would take ages to get there.”
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The Egyptians claim there are no crocodiles in their country.
I think they are in de Nile.
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A little-known fact is that Sir Lancelot raised a lot of sheep in his later years to make a living.
But once he got to Egypt he opened his own camel lot.
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My history textbook says that the Pharaoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could’ve just used bricks or something.
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Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons.
Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs.
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Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.
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