Enjoy our team's carefully selected Easy Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
My friend thinks he’s intelligent. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at his face.
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A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.”
“Aw, come on, boy,” the farmer insisted.
“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “but Pa won’t like it.”
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host.
Willis: “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”
Willis: “Under the wagon.”
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A broke guy walks past a pub. He looks at the door longingly, but since he has no money, he walks on.
Just then, he spots a lamp lying in the gutter. He picks it up and rubs it, and a genie emerges.
“I will grant you three wishes,” intones the genie.
“Give me a bottomless mug of beer,” the guy says.
A mug of beer appears in his hand. He takes a sip, then another. With each chug, the mug magically refills.
“And for your other two wishes?”
Between swallows, the lucky guy shouts, “Give me two more just like this one!”
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What’s the best thing to put into a pie?
Your teeth!
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Johnny tried to buy a toy car with Monopoly money at the store.
The cashier said, “There’s no way I can take this. It’s fake.”
Johnny said, “Well, the car’s not real either.”
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A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
“Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?”
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”
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Doctor: “I’ve got some bad news and some really bad news. The bad news is you only have a week to live.”
Patient: “What could be worse news than that?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to contact you for the last 6 days.”
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Your momma so short she takes a shower in a raindrop.
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Yo momma so hot doctors say her blood type is lava.
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Your mama is so hot I gotta wear oven mitts to touch her.
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Yo momma is so old I slapped her in the back and her boobs fell off.
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Yo Mama is so old Adam and Eve were at her graduation ceremony.
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Yo mama so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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Your momma so ugly when she looks in the mirror the reflection ducks!
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Yo momma is so ugly she made an onion cry.
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Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
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Yo momma so fat she can’t reach her back pocket.
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Yo mama so fat when she died she broke the stairway to heaven.
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Yo mama so scary you thought the monsters in your closet were friends.
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Yo momma's got a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns.
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Yo mama’s so fat I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
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Yo mama’s appetite is so huge even after eating an elephant for breakfast she demanded a whale as dessert.
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Yo mama so stupid she tried to save a fish from drowning.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
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Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s checkbook.”
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A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn't be discussed over the dinner table.
When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, “Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your spaghetti.”
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Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a KFC on the other side.
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What does a cat have that no other animal has?
Kittens.
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Why do cats always win video games?
Because they have nine lives!
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Why do cats hate laptops?
They don’t have a mouse.
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Why don’t blondes call 911 when they are in an emergency?
Because they can’t find the number eleven on their phone.
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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
After walking along for a while they eventually found a lamp and rubbed it.
A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home.
Poof! She was transported back home.
The brunette wished to be back at home with her family.
Poof! She was magically transported back home.
The blonde then says, “Aww, I wish my friends were here.”
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Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
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Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat a birthday cake?
They always forget to take off the candles.
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
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