Disney Jokes

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Disney Jokes

Picked up a set of 20 Disney shorts on vinyl for only $30.

To be honest, though, I think theyโ€™d chafe less in cotton.

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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.

Mickey asked, โ€œGoofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?โ€

Goofy replied, โ€œBecause it is too tired to walk.โ€

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Why did Goofy feel sad for his calendar?

He heard its days were numbered.

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What time did Goofy have a dentist appointment?

Tooth Hurty.

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Minnie came out of her room after changing for a dinner party. Goofy was there.

Minnie asked, โ€œGoofy, how do I look?โ€

Goofy replied, โ€œLike everyone else, with your eyes!โ€

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When I went to the doctor, I said, โ€œDoctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.โ€

He replied, โ€œHow long have you been getting these Disney spells?โ€

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Why do people go to Disneyland?

So they can get a little Goofy.

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I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse, but I didnโ€™t get the part.

The director said I was too Goofy.

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Mickey Mouse was arrested for identity theft.

He was charged with being Goofy.

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Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey?

She was feeling Goofy at the time.

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What is Spider-Manโ€™s favorite Disney movie?

Peter Pan.

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I always wanted a life like a Disney princess.

I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day.

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Disney is updating a childrenโ€™s classic with a pandemic theme.

Itโ€™s called โ€œThe Never Ending Storyโ€.

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My wife and I are going to be Carl and Ellie from Disneyโ€™s Up for Halloween.

Iโ€™ll dress up as an old guy and sheโ€™ll dress up as a tombstone.

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Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafรฉ.

Heather says, โ€œI got my ultrasound done yesterday. Iโ€™m pregnant with triplets!โ€

โ€œI got mine done yesterday too,โ€ says Linda. โ€œIโ€™m pregnant with septuplets!โ€

โ€œI think Iโ€™ll get my ultrasound done next week,โ€ says Martha.

The three women chat some more.

Finally, Heather says, โ€œI got Disney+ last month. The first movie I watched on it was โ€˜The Three Little Pigsโ€™.โ€

โ€œI got Disney+ last month too,โ€ says Linda. โ€œThe first movie I watched on it was โ€˜Snow White and the Seven Dwarfsโ€™.โ€ When Martha hears this, she instantly goes pale.

โ€œItโ€™s okay if you donโ€™t have Disney+,โ€ says Heather.

โ€œI do have it,โ€ says Martha. โ€œItโ€™s just that the first movie I watched on it was โ€˜101 Dalmatiansโ€™.โ€

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Yo momma so dumb when yโ€™all were driving to Disneyland she saw a sign that said โ€œDisneyland leftโ€ so she went home.

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