Disney Jokes

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Disney Jokes

Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.

Mickey asked, β€œGoofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?”

Goofy replied, β€œBecause it is too tired to walk.”

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Why did Goofy feel sad for his calendar?

He heard its days were numbered.

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What time did Goofy have a dentist appointment?

Tooth Hurty.

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Minnie came out of her room after changing for a dinner party. Goofy was there.

Minnie asked, β€œGoofy, how do I look?”

Goofy replied, β€œLike everyone else, with your eyes!”

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When I went to the doctor, I said, β€œDoctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.”

He replied, β€œHow long have you been getting these Disney spells?”

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Why do people go to Disneyland?

So they can get a little Goofy.

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I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse, but I didn’t get the part.

The director said I was too Goofy.

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Mickey Mouse was arrested for identity theft.

He was charged with being Goofy.

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Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey?

She was feeling Goofy at the time.

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What is Spider-Man’s favorite Disney movie?

Peter Pan.

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I always wanted a life like a Disney princess.

I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day.

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Disney is updating a children’s classic with a pandemic theme.

It’s called β€œThe Never Ending Story”.

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My wife and I are going to be Carl and Ellie from Disney’s Up for Halloween.

I’ll dress up as an old guy and she’ll dress up as a tombstone.

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Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafe.

Heather says, β€œI got my ultrasound done yesterday. I’m pregnant with triplets!”

β€œI got mine done yesterday too,” says Linda. β€œI’m pregnant with septuplets!”

β€œI think I’ll get my ultrasound done next week,” says Martha.

The three women chat some more.

Finally, Heather says, β€œI got Disney+ last month. The first movie I watched on it was β€˜The Three Little Pigs’.”

β€œI got Disney+ last month too,” says Linda. β€œThe first movie I watched on it was β€˜Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’.” When Martha hears this, she instantly goes pale.

β€œIt’s okay if you don’t have Disney+,” says Heather.

β€œI do have it,” says Martha. β€œIt’s just that the first movie I watched on it was β€˜101 Dalmatians’.”

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Yo momma so dumb when y’all were driving to Disneyland she saw a sign that said β€œDisneyland left” so she went home.

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