Enjoy our team's carefully selected Disney Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Picked up a set of 20 Disney shorts on vinyl for only $30.
To be honest, though, I think they’d chafe less in cotton.
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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.
Mickey asked, “Goofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?”
Goofy replied, “Because it is too tired to walk.”
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Why did Goofy feel sad for his calendar?
He heard its days were numbered.
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What time did Goofy have a dentist appointment?
Tooth Hurty.
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Minnie came out of her room after changing for a dinner party. Goofy was there.
Minnie asked, “Goofy, how do I look?”
Goofy replied, “Like everyone else, with your eyes!”
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When I went to the doctor, I said, “Doctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.”
He replied, “How long have you been getting these Disney spells?”
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Why do people go to Disneyland?
So they can get a little Goofy.
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I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse, but I didn’t get the part.
The director said I was too Goofy.
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Mickey Mouse was arrested for identity theft.
He was charged with being Goofy.
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Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey?
She was feeling Goofy at the time.
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What is Spider-Man’s favorite Disney movie?
Peter Pan.
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I always wanted a life like a Disney princess.
I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day.
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Disney is updating a children’s classic with a pandemic theme.
It’s called “The Never Ending Story”.
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My wife and I are going to be Carl and Ellie from Disney’s Up for Halloween.
I’ll dress up as an old guy and she’ll dress up as a tombstone.
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Three pregnant women are chatting in a café.
Heather says, “I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I’m pregnant with triplets!”
“I got mine done yesterday too,” says Linda. “I’m pregnant with septuplets!”
“I think I’ll get my ultrasound done next week,” says Martha.
The three women chat some more.
Finally, Heather says, “I got Disney+ last month. The first movie I watched on it was ‘The Three Little Pigs’.”
“I got Disney+ last month too,” says Linda. “The first movie I watched on it was ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’.” When Martha hears this, she instantly goes pale.
“It’s okay if you don’t have Disney+,” says Heather.
“I do have it,” says Martha. “It’s just that the first movie I watched on it was ‘101 Dalmatians’.”
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Yo momma so dumb when y’all were driving to Disneyland she saw a sign that said “Disneyland left” so she went home.
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