Enjoy our team's carefully selected Diabetes Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A cop stops a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He directs the man to blow into a breathalyzer.
Man: “I’m afraid I can’t do that, officer.”
Cop: “What’s the harm?”
Man: “Because I have asthma. If I blow into that tube, I might have an asthma attack.”
Cop: “All right, we’ll just get a urine sample at the station.”
Man: “I can’t do that, officer.”
Cop: “What’s the harm?”
Man: “Because I have diabetes. If I pee in a cup, I might get low blood sugar.”
Cop: “All right, we’ll take a blood sample.”
Man: “I can’t do that, officer.”
Cop: “What’s the harm?”
Man: “Because I have hemophilia. I could die if I give blood.”
Cop: “All right, just walk this white line.”
Man: “I can’t do that, officer.”
Cop: “What’s the harm?”
Man: “Because I’m drunk.”
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What’s the worst part about going to the doctor and being diagnosed with diabetes?
You don’t get a lollipop afterward.
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Why do diabetics always have nightmares?
They can’t have sweet dreams.
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What did Santa get the day after Christmas?
Diabetes.
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How do you know the NASA scientists are wrong to say it is possible to live on Mars?
Some people tried it and now they are 15 kg heavier and diabetic.
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What was the trickiest question on a diabetes website?
It asked if I would accept cookies.
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Why can’t diabetics have vengeance?
Because vengeance is sweet.
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A doctor just flirted with me. She also said that I was really sweet.
Well, her exact words were “severely diabetic”, but I know what she meant. I got the hint.
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You have 30 chocolate bars. You eat 20 in 1 day. What do you have now?
Diabetes.
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