Dating Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dating Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
She left the bar because after 45 minutes, the date finally arrived, and he was a gnome.
Too little, too late.
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I met my wife while we were working at the same museum.
Our first date was in the geology section, the second in paleontology, and the rest was history.
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I went on a date with a dentist last night.
At the end of the date, she said she’d had a great time and she’d like to see me again in 6 month’s time.
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A little boy had a crush on his teacher, but she was dating a doctor.
So the boy brought his teacher an apple everyday.
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Crush: “Why should I trust you? All the guys I’ve been dating have been dogs.”
Me: “...”
Crush: “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Me: “... meow?”
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Six years ago, I DMed my facebook crush, telling her that I am going to take her out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times and blocked me.
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My crush told me, “Come over, no ones home.”
I went over... no one was home.
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I started a dating site for older people.
OK Boomer.
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I started dating this girl in high school just because we had the same class schedule.
What can I say? We had Chemistry together.
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A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice.
Father: “My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy.”
The boy picks up his date, and they stare at each other for a long time.
The boy’s nervousness builds, but he then asks, “Do you like potato pancakes?”
“No,” comes the answer, and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.
Boy: “Do you have a brother?”
Girl: “No.”
After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”
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What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
You make me melt.
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When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet.
I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
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What did people say when the headless horseman started dating a zombie?
He’s lost his head!
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I went on a date with Spider-Man, but he was super clingy.
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Yo momma’s so ugly she makes a Gammorrean seem like an attractive date.
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What is round, ugly, smeared with chocolate and just showed up unwashed to your first date?
A Tinder surprise.
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What did the donuts do on their date?
They glazed into each other’s eyes.
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What did the butcher say to his girlfriend on their first date?
“Nice to meat you.”
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Girlfriend: “Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?”
Boyfriend: “Yes, February 14th.”
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A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing.
He replies, “I forgot my wallet.”
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A mushroom walks up to a tomato and asks him out on a date.
As the evening wears on, the tomato is just sitting there, not saying much and looking miserable.
“What’s wrong?” the mushroom says. “Aren’t you enjoying yourself?”
“I guess I’m just not a fun-gi,” says the tomato.
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All Bill asked for was a little good-night kiss, but Anne haughtily rebuffed him with, “I don’t do that sort of thing on my first date!”
“Well,” Bill replied with sarcasm, “how about on your last date?”
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