Jokes About Cycling

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Cycling Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Cycling Jokes

A boy was riding his bicycle, and he sees his mom on the porch.

He releases the handle and yells to his mom, โ€œLook mom, no hands!โ€

His mom replies, โ€œBe careful, honey.โ€

Then he releases his legs from the pedals and says, โ€œLook mom, no legs!โ€

His mom replies more sternly, โ€œBe careful, honey.โ€

The little boy then abruptly falls, to the dismay of his mom.

The boy slowly gets back up and says, โ€œLook mom, no teeth!โ€

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Why canโ€™t an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesnโ€™t have a thumb to ring the bell.

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How did the barber win the bike race?

He took a short cut.

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What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?

Because he didnโ€™t want to walk in his sleep.

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Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?

The pavement.

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An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a general check-up.

The doctor was surprised to see his happy demeanor.

Doctor: โ€œWhat is the secret of your good health?โ€

Old man: โ€œI get up before the sun rises and go out for cycling. And then come back and drink two glasses ofย wine!

Maybe this is the secret of my health.โ€

Doctor: โ€œOkay, but can I ask you how old was your father when he died?โ€

Old man: โ€œMy father died! Who told you that he died?!โ€

Doctor (surprised): โ€œYou mean that you are 80 years old, and your father is still alive? So how old is he now?โ€

Old man: โ€œHe is 102 years old and cycled with me this morning and then took two glasses of wine.โ€

Doctor: โ€œThis is very good. This means that the long life is in your familyโ€™s genes. So, how old was your grandfather when he died?โ€

Old man: โ€œMy grandfather died! Who told you that he died?!โ€

Doctor (puzzled): โ€œYou mean that you are 80 years old, and your grandfather is still alive very much! What is his age?โ€

Old man: โ€œYes, he is 123 years old.โ€

Doctor: โ€œIย think he too must have cycled with you this morning and taken wine too?โ€

Old man: โ€œNo, Grandpa could not go this morning, because he is getting married today.โ€

Doctor (on the verge of going mad): โ€œWhy would he want to get married at the age of 123?โ€

Old man: โ€œWho said he wanted to get married? He had to be forced.โ€

Doctor (shouted): โ€œBut why?!โ€

Old man: โ€œThe Girl is pregnant, thatโ€™s why.โ€

The doctor has been cycling regularly and drinking wine ever since. The clinic is closed.

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Iโ€™ve given up cycling at the local velodrome.

Itโ€™s getting me nowhere.

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Iโ€™ve been cycling to work for a whole month now...

You would have thought I would be there by now.

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I was cycling to work when a snow plow suddenly overtook me at high speed, spreading salt which hit my face.

โ€œBASTARD!โ€ I shouted, through gritted teeth.

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If you want to know why the Brits are so good at cycling, then just take a look at the cost of public transport.

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My granny started cycling at 97 years old. She has been doing ten miles per day.

And now we donโ€™t know where the heck she is!

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What do you call someone whoโ€™s really into stationary biking?

A cyclepath.

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A guy sees his mother-in-law riding a bicycle.

โ€œWhere are you going?โ€ he asks.

โ€œTo the cemetery,โ€ she replies.

Guy: โ€œAnd who is going to return the bike?โ€

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of

feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, โ€œSon, how old are you?โ€

โ€œEight,โ€ the boy replied.

The man continued, โ€œDo you know what these are used for?โ€

The boy replied, โ€œNot exactly, but they arenโ€™t for me. Theyโ€™re for him. Heโ€™s my brother. Heโ€™s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he canโ€™t do either.โ€

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