Enjoy our team's carefully selected Cycling Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Me and my friend were riding on my motorcycle on a particularly windy day when we saw a cyclist in front of us, pedaling in the middle of the road, with a car honking furiously behind him.
So we drove over and asked the guy, โWhy donโt you move to the side and let the car overtake you?โ
The guy replied, โI am trying!โ
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A boy was riding his bicycle, and he sees his mom on the porch.
He releases the handle and yells to his mom, โLook mom, no hands!โ
His mom replies, โBe careful, honey.โ
Then he releases his legs from the pedals and says, โLook mom, no legs!โ
His mom replies more sternly, โBe careful, honey.โ
The little boy then abruptly falls, to the dismay of his mom.
The boy slowly gets back up and says, โLook mom, no teeth!โ
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Why canโt an elephant ride a bicycle?
Because he doesnโt have a thumb to ring the bell.
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How did the barber win the bike race?
He took a short cut.
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What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
Because he didnโt want to walk in his sleep.
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Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
The pavement.
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An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a general check-up.
The doctor was surprised to see his happy demeanor.
Doctor: โWhat is the secret of your good health?โ
Old man: โI get up before the sun rises and go out for cycling. And then come back and drink two glasses ofย wine!
Maybe this is the secret of my health.โ
Doctor: โOkay, but can I ask you how old was your father when he died?โ
Old man: โMy father died! Who told you that he died?!โ
Doctor (surprised): โYou mean that you are 80 years old, and your father is still alive? So how old is he now?โ
Old man: โHe is 102 years old and cycled with me this morning and then took two glasses of wine.โ
Doctor: โThis is very good. This means that the long life is in your familyโs genes. So, how old was your grandfather when he died?โ
Old man: โMy grandfather died! Who told you that he died?!โ
Doctor (puzzled): โYou mean that you are 80 years old, and your grandfather is still alive very much! What is his age?โ
Old man: โYes, he is 123 years old.โ
Doctor: โIย think he too must have cycled with you this morning and taken wine too?โ
Old man: โNo, Grandpa could not go this morning, because he is getting married today.โ
Doctor (on the verge of going mad): โWhy would he want to get married at the age of 123?โ
Old man: โWho said he wanted to get married? He had to be forced.โ
Doctor (shouted): โBut why?!โ
Old man: โThe Girl is pregnant, thatโs why.โ
The doctor has been cycling regularly and drinking wine ever since. The clinic is closed.
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Iโve given up cycling at the local velodrome.
Itโs getting me nowhere.
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Iโve been cycling to work for a whole month now...
You would have thought I would be there by now.
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I was cycling to work when a snow plow suddenly overtook me at high speed, spreading salt which hit my face.
โBASTARD!โ I shouted, through gritted teeth.
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If you want to know why the Brits are so good at cycling, then just take a look at the cost of public transport.
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My granny started cycling at 97 years old. She has been doing ten miles per day.
And now we donโt know where the heck she is!
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What do you call someone whoโs really into stationary biking?
A cyclepath.
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A guy sees his mother-in-law riding a bicycle.
โWhere are you going?โ he asks.
โTo the cemetery,โ she replies.
Guy: โAnd who is going to return the bike?โ
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, โSon, how old are you?โ
โEight,โ the boy replied.
The man continued, โDo you know what these are used for?โ
The boy replied, โNot exactly, but they arenโt for me. Theyโre for him. Heโs my brother. Heโs four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he canโt do either.โ
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