Cow Jokes: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Cow Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Cow Jokes


In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls.

But the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œCow says.”

β€œCow says, who?”

β€œNo, owls say β€œwho”, cows say β€œmoo”!”

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Husband: β€œHello, 911? Yes, there’s this Hindu fellow who’s been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it’s starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees, and he’s... praying, or something.”

911 operator: β€œSir, calm down, there’s no issue hereβ€”Hindus are well known to worship cows.”

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The wise old Mother Superior from County Tipperary was dying.

The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

β€œMother”, the nuns pleaded, β€œPlease give us some wisdom before you die.”

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, β€œDon’t sell that cow.”

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How is a dyslexic cow like a Buddhist monk?

Both say β€œommmmmmmmm.”

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What do we learn from cows, buffaloes, and elephants?

It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.

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What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?

Cowboom!

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What’s the difference between a cow and a moose?

One moos, the other moose.

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A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, β€œWhat’s this?”

The kid says, β€œA picture of a cow eating grass.”

The teacher asks, β€œWhere’s the grass?”

The kid says, β€œThe cow ate it all.”

β€œOk, then where’s the cow?”

β€œIt left because there was no more grass.”

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What’s a cow’s favorite TV drama?

Graze Anatomy.

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Tri-tip.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mom!

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A guy is sitting outside on a bench eating a burger when a woman comes out of a Subway store with a salad bowl.

She walks over to the guy and angrily says to him, β€œYou know, a cow died somewhere, so you could enjoy that burger. What do you think of that, hmm?”

As quick as a flash, he looks up at her and replies, β€œIt’s a shame for sure, but maybe if you weren’t eating its food, that cow might have lived.”

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What do you get when you put a chicken, a cow, and a pig together?

A hot dog.

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Why did the cow jump over the Harvest Moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

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It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.

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Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?

To get chocolate milk.

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When the cow jumped over the moon...

Never have the steaks been so high.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

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What do you call a rampaging cow under the full moon?

Udder lunacy.

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Why were there bones on the moon?

Because the cow didn’t make it.

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Which way did the cow jump over the moon?

The Milky Way!

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Guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep all have in common?

They’re all very stable animals.

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What do you get from an Alaskan cow?

Ice Cream.

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If cows laughed, milk would come out of their noses.

I guess that’s why they moo.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œInterrupting cow.”

β€œInterrup...”

β€œMoooooooo!”

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What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake!

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